Remakes, Reboots and Sequels - The Reason Why They Hurt So Much

Remakes and Sequels - The Reason Why They Hurt So Much

Look around the internet, for anything. Absolutely anything. A recipe for Yorkshire puddings perhaps. You'll probably go with the first one you find, and maybe you'll check the comments to see how well received it's been. The comments will read something like this:

foodlover56:

Great!

startermaindessert:

OMG I LUV THIS RECIPEEEEEE <3

cookingqueen:

Thank you

cookingwithlightsabers:

These are so good, it almost makes me forget about Jar Jar Binks

maythefourthbewithyou:

ROFL 

endorbbqcompany:

Have you heard Disney have bought Lucasfilm? :( bad times

leavebritneyalone:

LEAVE STAR WARS ALONE!

recipeguru:

Great recipe

recipeguru:

Great recipe

recipeguru:

Great recipe

recipeguru:

They should have left it at the Original Trilogy

picardbeatskirk:

To be fair, Episode III wasn't too bad

cookingwithlightsabers:

*This message has been deleted due to inappropriate content*

maythefourthbewithyou:

*This message has been deleted due to inappropriate content*

originaltrilogyonly

*This message has been deleted due to inappropriate content*

itsatwap:

I will literally hunt you down and paint you with blenderised Weetabix

monmothaisababe:

*This message has been deleted due to inappropriate content*

exhaustportlol:

*This message has been deleted due to inappropriate content*

recipeguru:

Great recipe

Ok, that's a slight exaggeration.

But only very slight.

If there's one thing guaranteed to get the internet going bananas, it's a remake, reboot or unwanted sequel (I know that's three things). An unwanted sequel usually means one coming out many years after the last film, so Live Free or Die Hard (Die Hard 4) coming out in 2007, after Die Hard With A Vengeance (Die Hard 3) in 1995. I avoided mentioning the Star Wars prequels or Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull because they're so obvious, the Universe face palms itself each time mankind brings them up. Which I just did, so sorry Universe, it won't happen again.

Remakes take on a few different forms. Sometimes they're American remakes of films/television series, such as The Office, or Quarantine. Sometimes they're 'reboots', such as Casino Royale (James Bond) or Battlestar Galactica. However they come, they never arrive welcomed by the mass majority. I include myself in this, and I think I've finally figured out why they hurt me so much personally. There have been many articles written on this, but I haven't come across any that mention this reason specifically.

What most articles that comment on this will tell you, is people see these remakes or sequels are desecrating a childhood memory. To an extent I'd agree. My memory of the Indiana Jones trilogy (sorry again, Universe) is that of an almost perfect set of films that I first watched in childhood, inspiring me to want to become an archaeologist, to make sure things belong in museums, and to want to fight Nazis. When Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came out, I laughed off fears that it wouldn't live up to the original films, confident that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg would deliver the goods. It took a few hours but when the tears had finally ended following a trip to the cinema, I felt like a part of me had been destroyed. There's an excellent episode of South Park that sums up how a lot of people felt following that film. But really, had my childhood been destroyed? No. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull isn't from my childhood. Those films that I did watch back then will always be part of it, and nothing can change that.

I won't go into detail about my feelings on the Star Wars prequels (are your face and palms stinging sufficiently yet, Universe?) - I've partially done that in a previous article, but suffice to say I don't exactly have warm feelings towards them. Episode III had some movement in the wrong direction, but flushes most of that down the toilet with at least one incredibly big flaw of logic. But again, did they destroy my childhood memories of the Original Trilogy, even though Episode I came out in 1999, when I was 13 and so still in childhood? No, because I WAS still a child, and so I lived through the nightmare as a child. What I'm trying to say here is that if you are a child when something like this happens, it's more of a bad sequel than a stain on your memory. For everyone 18+, you're childhood isn't affected by them.

The outcry also always forgets where a remake, reboot or belated sequel succeeds incredibly well. The James Bond franchise has been invigorated by the rebooting formula beginning with Casino Royale, which arguably it had to do to keep with the times following the 'grittier' style of popular spy series such as the Jason Bourne trilogy. The Battlestar Galactica 're-imagined' (it means reboot) is my all time favourite television series of all time (and sorry anyone who didn't like the finale - Dad, you're just wrong). True, I never saw the original, but surely the fact that I didn't makes it OK - I have my series of Battlestar, fans of the original have theirs. I love the UK version of The Office, and I'll admit that when I heard there was to be a US remake, I moaned and groaned, but I've only heard positive things about it, and I'm happy to accept that it has plenty of fans. I still groan and wonder why the US has to remake everything the UK produces, but it doesn't impact on the UK version, so really all I have to do is ignore it and be proud that the UK version is miles better. No offence to any US readers, but history would suggest I'm likely to be right about this.

So, if all this is true, then why does it hurt so much when something like a new Indiana Jones film comes out and is terrible (seriously, aliens?). Well, it's not because your childhood is getting screwed with.

It's because it becomes canon.

That's right. When a new film gets added to a franchise, no matter how hard you try to ignore it, morally you know it's now part of its history. When you talk about what you think Indy did post-Last Crusade, whether it's visiting Atlantis or living a quiet life playing Bridge with Marcus, you know that at some point he ends up meeting aliens. And that hurts, it really does. Aliens? Seriously? Why not just make Fate of Atlantis? It couldn't be anything but a winner. 

When the original Star Wars trilogy (just keep face palming indefinitely, Universe, it's probably easiest) were the only set of films, you could imagine what the Clone Wars were like, and how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, and remain ignorant about trade negotiations, the origins of C3-PO and stupid, STUPID JAR JAR BINKS. But now, no matter how hard you try to erase it, or determinedly say 'Oh, I just pretend they didn't happen', deep down you know they did. You can ignore the Expanded Universe if any of that annoys you, because it isn't considered canon, but the prequels are. Morally, you have to acknowledge them. That's right, it's a moral issue. My conscience burns if I try to tell myself Jar Jar is just a nightmare that I've dreamed up.

This is also why arguing against a reboot doesn't have merit. The latest Star Trek film deliberately began a new timeline. All of your favourite Star Trek moments are still valid, they just happened in a different timeline. So your childhood is safe.

Of course, sometimes a remake or sequel is so bad it hurts to watch it just because it's bad. The fact it's associated with a franchise you love is a coincidence. Red Dwarf USA, both pilots, was terrible. But it would be terrible if the dialogue was tweaked to be about a Scottish launderette. Nothing could change that. 

So there you have it. I've put a finger on what's really been bothering you about remakes, reboots and sequels. No need to thank me, it's what I'm here for. I'll admit it, that i'm dreading the Starship Troopers remake, because I see it as unnecessary and don't see how it can top the original. But as long as it doesn't become canon, then I don't really have grounds to complain. I just won't see it. Or i'll see it, and then go and watch the original and remind myself how much better it is.

But i'll probably still complain. Even though I should know better.