20 Years Of Waiting

20 Years of Waiting, and the Elation When You Finally Get a Joke

Now, I'd like to start by saying I'm usual pretty good at getting jokes. I'm not usually the one left at the end still trying to figure out why everyone is laughing (although I'm often the one who told the joke - ask anyone who knows me about the Pink Gorilla joke. It's a favourite amongst our friendship group). However, there's one particular joke that has left me stumped for the last 20 or so years, that I finally managed to grasp last night. Truly, this was a joyous occasion. Chris understood the word, and the word was Ptennis Net.

Let's back up 20 years. I've been an avid reader of Asterix since I was about five, and I'm 26 now. I'm sure you don't need an explanation, but for the three people out there who don't know what the Asterix series is, here's a quick explanation:

'Asterix...is a series of French comic books written by René Goscinny and illustrated by Albert Uderzo (Uderzo also took over the job of writing the series after the death of Goscinny in 1977).
The series follows the exploits of a village of indomitable Gauls as they resist Roman occupation. They do so by means of a magic potion, brewed by their druid, which gives the recipient superhuman strength. The protagonist, the titular character Asterix, along with his friend Obelix have various adventures. The "ix" suffix of both names echoes the names of real Gaulish chieftains such as Vercingetorix, Orgetorix, and Dumnorix. Many of the stories have them travel to foreign countries, though others are set in and around their village. For much of the history of the series (Volumes 4 through 29), settings in Gaul and abroad alternated, with even-numbered volumes set abroad and odd-numbered volumes set in Gaul, mostly in the village.'

Good old wikipedia.

Now that you're up to speed, let me bring you to Asterix The Legionary, a story where Asterix and his best friend Obelix sign up for the Roman Army, so that they can journey to Africa and rescue the husband-to-be of Obelix's crush, Panacea. When registering themselves, there are five or six other people trying to sign up too, from various nationalities. One of these happens to be Egyptian. Now, being a comic book series, Asterix features a lot of visual humour, and in this instance, the humour comes from the fact the Egyptians' dialogue is written in hieroglyphics - to understand this, we need to rely mostly on the interpreter who is present at the signing up ceremony. Here's a paraphrasing of the conversation that occurs when the Egyptian signs up:

Clerk: Name?
Egyptian: (We see a tennis net in the dialogue box)
Clerk: Interpreter?
Interpreter: Ptennis Net.

And there we have the joke. Not following yet? Don't worry, it took me 20 years to get this. Now that I have, however, it's joined my list of 'Cleverest Ever Jokes' (yep, there's an article coming for that at some point - when I have more than two).

Now, for the last 20 years, I've believed the humour to come from the fact that 'when you say "tennis net", it kind of sounds like you put a "p" before it'. Yes, hello fatal flaw in my explanation, and well done to all those of you out there who spotted it - in actual fact, it doesn't sound like there's a 'p' in front of 'tennis net' when you say it. The person who gave me this explanation shall remain nameless, to save them the horror of having led me down the wrong path for 20 years. However, as a five or six year old, you kind of just accept these things, and try to laugh along with it, even though your youthful mind is saying '...eh?'

Ready for the real explanation for this joke?

Ever heard of Ptolemy (any of them), Pharoah of Egypt? Ptolemy I succeeded Alexander the Great as rule of Egypt upon his death in 332BC, and was the first in a long line of Ptolemaic rulers until the death of Queen Cleopatra VII (the famous one) in 30BC.

Have you got it yet?

Yep, Ptennis Net is a play on the name 'Ptolemy', putting the 'p' before the 't' like the great Pharonic rulers.

Wow, 20 years of waiting. FINALLY.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think that's actually a pretty darn clever joke. It's not an obvious one by any means, and it takes a bit of knowledge of Ancient Egyptian history to get it, but the Asterix series as a whole is full of witty plays on words (especially names - Unhygenix for the unhygenic fishmonger for instance, or Cacofonix for the bard who can't sing), and I think this is the cleverest of the lot.

So there you have it. If you've ever read Asterix The Legionary and been a little nonplussed as to why the Egyptian's name is Ptennis Net, I hope this explanation has brought you some solace. And mirth. Lots of mirth. Can't beat the mirth.

What do you mean I've just wasted 10 minutes of your time?