Today I Discovered...Ensiferum

Today I Discovered...Ensiferum

Thank you again, YouTube! Randomly appearing in my suggested links on the right hand side of another video was a link to a song called 'From Afar' by the band Ensiferum. Click on it I did, and bloody enjoy it I did also.

'Melodic Folk Metal' is probably the best way to describe this Swedish band. The music does a great job of inspiring me to want to do a bit of Viking invading and plundering (helped by some cracking costumes in their videos), and there are some fantastic melodies in there which I really love. There's something wonderful about a band being heavy and still wanting to keep a very melodious sound, contrary to what the mainstream world would believe.

I advise you to listen to the embedded video and then seek out some more immediately!

Review of the Year 2013

Review of the Year 2013

It's been a pretty brilliant year overall for me. I've seen my son grow up so quickly (well, he's still not 20 months but you know what I mean), I've seen my wife become a baby signing teacher (and an excellent one at that), and I've had the most incredible year with my library and its users. I've decided to write up all the best bits of the 'entertainment' side of things, because there's so many things that I feel are deserving of a huge wad of praise, including some extra special thank you's at the end. Thank you 2013, it's been a pleasure!

The Best Books That I Read

Now, this isn't a 'Best of 2013' category as such, as not all of these were published in 2013. They are, however, the best books that I have read this year, and all of them have played a major role in influencing my 'reading journey', if you will. Without any of these, I wouldn't have discovered half of what I did. Where I've read more than one in a series, I've just mentioned the best. So, in order of pure awesomeness, here are my top 10...(with links to my review in the title if I've made one)

10. Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher

A teen girl killing herself and leaving behind a bunch of audio tapes to explain her reasons is never going to be the happiest of stories, but it's the final couple of reasons why that really get you in this thought-provoking and very well written debut. It's hard hitting and a perfect story to get teens thinking about how they act and what they say, and making sure that they're not being to careless. It's not a long novel at all, although with a subject matter like this I don't suppose you want it to be, but it'll keep you guessing right to the very end. An essential on my list of YA reads now.

9. Z is for Moose

HA. HAHAHA. HAH. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. This picture book is killingly funny. I love how desperate the moose is to get in the story, especially jumping in far before his turn, and the illustrations are wonderful - after all, the humour wouldn't be there if it wasn't for the pictures. It made me laugh out loud in the library when I first read it (something I really need to stop doing), and it's earned a place on my 'Picture Book Hall of Fame' List (which I could really do with actually writing at some point)...

8. Hospital Babylon - Imogen Edwards-Jones

I love a non-fiction book that gives me an expose on what a job is really like, and I've read four now by Imogen Edwards-Jones, of which Hospital Babylon is my favourite. She does such a fantastic job of bringing together a collection of stories by anonymous contributors from each relevant field, and turning it into a story set over the course of a day or week. They're a mixture of funny, outrageous and depressing, and utterly unputdownable.

7. Forbidden - Tabitha Suzuma

To me, YA fiction should touch on uncomfortable and controversial questions and scenarios, and there are many more controversial than a romance between a brother and sister. What makes Forbidden so wonderful however, is the fact that this isn't really a story about that at all - the relationship instead is a symptom of a terrible case of child abuse from the parents, and it's absolutely heartbreaking to read. Wonderful, but heartbreaking.

6. One Step Too Far - Tina Seskis

I'm not one to stray too far out of my usual type of book - I read Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Graphic Novels and Action/Adventure and that's about it. When I heard about One Step Too Far and it's challenge to solve its central mystery however, I couldn't resist, and I'm so glad that I didn't. It keeps you guessing right from the very beginning, teasing little hints all the way through, and then leaving you gob smacked at such a simple explanation that you never would have guessed. When we put this out as a recommendation a few months back, we had to desperately ring around to try and get hold of more copies to satisfy the demand. It came back with universal praise, and enquiries as to when we could read more by the author, something that doesn't happen without an immense talent for writing such a highly engaging story.

5. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! - Mo Willems

When the children's librarians asked me which of the Pigeon and Elephant & Piggy books were my favourites, I responded with 'What Pigeon and Elephant & Piggy' books? Which leaves me hanging my head in shame now, as Mo Willems have fast become one of my three favourite picture book authors of all time. All his books are fantastically funny and simply but brilliantly illustrated, and I particularly love the idea of a grumpy pigeon who grows increasingly so throughout each tale. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! is my favourite of the lot, but to miss any of the series out is to do a massive injustice to the world of children's literature.

4. This Moose Belongs To Me - Oliver Jeffers

The second entrant in my triumverate of favourite ever picture book authors is Oliver Jeffers, an author and illustrator whose work is instantly recognisable due to his own unique style of illustrating. He's also got such a brilliant sense of humour, with some fairly insane storylines taking place in his books. Though The Hueys in The New Jumper has one of the cleverest endings to a book I've ever read, This Moose Belongs to Me is my favourite of the lot. It's a great read, seeing Wilfred making demands of his moose, and knowing that nothing he says is having the slightest effect on the moose. If you've never read any of his work, go out and read it ALL. Like, right NOW.

3. I Want My Hat Back - Jon Klassen

And so we come to the final entrant in the triumverate, Jon Klassen. A man who has only written two books, but both of which are beyond brilliant. I Want My Hat Back is my favourite picture book of all time, and it makes grown ups and children laugh in equal measure at its relatively dark humour. The illustrations are wholly unique, and the way he can make you burst out laughing with nothing but a shifty glance from one character is astounding. If you only ever read one picture book in your life (because you meet me, and you get fed up of me demanding you try) it has to be this one. No one escapes my library without reading it.

2. Throne of Glass - Sarah J Maas

From the second I saw the blurb on the back cover (18 year old female assassin fights in tournament) there was no way I wasn't going to read this. Hell, this was basically my 18 year old self's fantasy coming true! And then I read it, and it was better than I ever dreamed it could be. It's one of the highest rated books on goodreads.com, and with good reason, because it's just so epically unputdownable, and full of characters who are superbly written, with some of the best and snappiest dialogue I have ever read in my life. It also inspired me to go back to the fantasy trilogy I began a few years ago and make a ridiculous amount of progress on it, to the point where I think I may actually finish writing a book at last. The sequel, Crown of Midnight, is equally as good, although I'm still halfway through reading it because things like work, family, and occasionally sleep keep getting in the way. This isn't just the best YA fantasy novel I've ever read, and it's not just one of the best fantasy novels of any type that I've ever read - it's one of the best novels that I've ever read, EVER. It's pure fun and enjoyment from the very beginning, and Sarah J Maas deserves every single plaudit she gets. I want to nominate myself to play Chaol in the film right now, just because.

1. ACID - Emma Pass

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, has had such an influence on me this year as ACID. Beyond the fact it's brilliant to say to library users, 'Have you tried ACID?' (tell me now, Emma, honestly - is that the reason you settled on ACID for the title?!), it's led me to fully embrace the world of YA fiction, and I've gotten at least five teens hooked on exactly the same type of books, which in a library like mine really isn't an easy task. It features one of the greatest kick ass heroines that I've ever come across (with bright red hair, no less), and is elevated to greatness by the extras that are included in it, such as transcripts of dialogue between guards or newspaper articles, that are slotted in between chapters. Everyone who has taken it has loved it, and I've been delighted with the praise that I've seen flying around the internet. It seems to make most book bloggers' best of lists, and I can see it being made into a film before too long. When a book changes your entire outlook on how you do your job, you know that you've found something special. Congratulations Emma, you're no.1!

Honourable mentions: Room by Emma Donoghue, Days of the Bagnold Summer by Joff Winterhart

The Best Films That I Saw

Now this is a strange category to list, as I really don't think I've seen many films this year. I've certainly only seen one at the cinema, and my wife and I just seem to have been far too busy to watch anything other than the odd episode of a comedy series in the evenings. Having said that, looking back over my library charge history and Netflix account has unearthed a few memories, so here we are:

Star Trek: Into Darkness

I’m going to ignore the fact that they SPOILERS brought Khan back which I think was lazy END SPOILERS, and that the ending was pretty lame, and focus on the fact that as an action move this was brilliant. It’s visually stunning, has great action and the villain was much better than the first rebooted film. Whilst it’s very much the same ‘modernised’ Trek that fans of the older series perhaps won’t like, I’m happy to separate the two apart and enjoy it anyway.

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa

It's been a long wait for the Alan Partridge movie, but when it came it was lovely stuff. It's not as good as I'm Alan Partridge, or the more recent Welcome to the Places of My Life, but it's killingly funny in places, and a very worthy addition to Partridge-lore.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I hear the argument that dragging a 300-page book out over three films is a cynical cash ploy and leaves it liable to rubbish pacing, particularly where the first film only covers the first 40 or so page, but I loved the return to Middle Earth. There are some fantastically trilling sequences, such as the initial attack by Smaug, or the chase under The Misty Mountains. Most importantly of all, it feels just like the films from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, bringing us back to the visually-spectacular world we loved in the early 2000s. I'll admit I'd skip the scene in Bilbo's house with the singing dwarves, but otherwise the way I see it is the more of Middle Earth the better.

Tower Block

A tense thriller set entirely in a tower block, with some fantastic performances, particularly from Sheridan Smith (playing a completely different role to the comedies I'm used to seeing her in) and Jack O'Connell. O'Connell in particular has to be one of the best British actors at playing utter arseholes, yet never getting his comeuppance because you want to see him on screen for as long as possible. It's got a decent twist at the end, and it's impossible to guess who's going to survive until the end so it'll keep you hooked all the way through. Plus, as a British thriller, it's got that excellent indie-British feel to it that I feel always heightens the atmosphere of a film. Well worth checking out.

Skyfall

A vast improvement on Quantum of Solace, and a bit of an emotional kick at the end, this was Bond back on form. Daniel Craig is fantastic as you’d expect, and it’s more of the gritty-style that I love, far more so than the ‘classic’ Bond films.

The Best TV Shows That I Saw

5. The Big Bang Theory

Whilst I can’t help but feel that there’s been a slight dip in quality (ever-so slight, mind) from a couple of seasons ago, this is still a show that makes me laugh consistently more than most other comedies on TV, even with multiple repeats. Sheldon is still one of the greatest comedy characters created for television, and his blossoming (as far as Sheldon blossoms, anyhow) relationship with Amy is one of the highlights of the show. Everyone else is fantastic too, and it’s no surprise that the show continues to have new seasons ordered for it. Long may it continue.

4. Outnumbered

I’ve caught the odd episode of Outnumbered before and enjoyed it, but thanks to Netflix I’ve finally settled down to watch entire seasons whilst doing the washing up, and I’m damn glad I have. The children are fantastic as the stereotypical ‘kids from hell’, with some of the things they come out with better than 95% of what the greatest comedy writers on the planet could come up with, but it would be unfair not to mention the contribution that Hugh Dennis and Claire Skinner bring as Pete and Sue, the long suffering parents. Brilliant stuff.

3. The Walking Dead

I’ve loved the comics for a while, and had the DVD of Series 1 on my shelf for at least a year, waiting for the time my wife finally agrees to it being our next TV series of choice, and she relented about three months ago. Glory be that she did, because The Walking Dead is one of the most gripping series that I’ve seen for a few years. Particularly brilliant is the fact that, though I know the comics, the plot is deliberately changed to keep you guessing, with characters who are mainstays of the comic dying earlier in the show, and vice versa. Andrew Lincoln as the protagonist is one of the best actors on TV at the moment, and rarely does a show throw so many shocks and heart breaking moments at you as this. Barely an episode goes by with a dry eye.

2. New Girl

To think, when this first came on I didn’t like it…How ashamed I now feel, for this is easily now one of my favourite comedies of all time. All of the main characters are fantastic, from Jess’ wide eyed happy-go-lucky protagonist, to Nick’s crotchety and lazy waster, to Schmidt’s generally douchebagery and Winston’s vastly underappreciated bordering-crazy-with-his-extreme-pranks ‘straight’ man of the four. It’s the show that Happy Endings wants to be, but a thousand times funnier, with genuine cry-with-laughter moments multiple times per episode. There’s nothing that can touch it on TV for comedy at the moment. Roll on Series 3.

1. Game of Thrones
I don't think I've anticipated a show this much since Batllestar Galactica. I HATE the fact that I have to wait until February to get Series 3 on DVD (because we don't have Sky and I refuse to pay Blinkbox when I could get it so much cheaper from the library). It's almost worth it just for Peter Dinklage as Tyrion alone, but the whole cast it absolutely fantastic, and I can't remember a dud episode in the first two seasons. It's got action, mystery, plot twists, characters to cheer for (who usually step well into a grey area) and characters to boo. It also has copious amounts of nudity, but as I watch this with my wife, in no way is that a reason for watching it - merely, I'm just observing the obvious. It also has one of the greatest title themes ever created, which still appears to get better with each listen. If you ever want a theme with great cover version, search YouTube (or look for the best couple just below). February really, REALLY can't come quick enough.

The Best Covers On YouTube

Complete with videos, these are the best cover versions of songs and themes that I found on YouTube this year.

10. Lara and Jonathan play 'Under the Sea'


Two people, from different parts of the world, coming together to play a majestic version of The Little Mermaid's 'Under the Sea' - what isn't to love?

9. Royals (Lorde) by Madilyn Bailey & Megan Nicole




The two voices here work brilliantly together, and I prefer it to the original, mainly down to the fact that Lorde seems to pronounce 'flesh' in a really strange way in the opening line, and they don't here. Both are excellent singers, and Madilyn Bailey particularly seems to have found huge success in doing covers on YouTube - if you look at the first, low budget camera, videos on her page, you'll see how far she's come, and it's a great highlight for what Web 2.0 can do for people with talent.

8. Tetris Theme A by Smooth McGroove




Not only is this one of the greatest computer game themes of all time, and not only do I love acapella versions of songs, but this (and all Smooth McGroove's videos) is really funny to boot. Keep an eye out for his cat appearing in pretty much every video he does (if not all of them - I've watched lots, but not all). Also, his eyes are piercing. It's like they're watching me watch.

7. Super Mario 64 - Dire, Dire Docks




My favourite of all the Mario themes that have ever been, it's rendered beautifully on piano here. Thanks to this, I can now play it myself (no, there's no video yet). There's another version that was very good, but instead of sticking with the feel of the original, it tries to go very bombastic halfway through and spoils it for me (but check it out anyway here).

6. Kingdom Dance Piano Version




Coming from the Tangled soundtrack, this is the best piece of music Disney have produced since 'I'll Try' in Peter Pan 2 (don't laugh, it's great), and it's the very first thing that comes into my head when I think of a historical market (and that includes the incredible Hyrule Market Theme from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time). It's ridiculously optimistic and happy to begin with, as a community dance should be, and then becomes that slight bit more urgent towards the end, as the song reaches its climax. This is a wonderful rendition of it on piano, and I wish I had the skill of this guy because I just cannot get my right hand to play correctly with the left for this. Special mention as well to this version on multiple instruments.

5. Skyrim Violin Cover


This guy is just incredible. It's an beautiful rendition of the theme from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, with a bit of 'From Past to Present' from the soundtrack at the start. This has to be one of the most inspiring video game themes of all time, and this is the best cover version of it that I've come across.

4. Game of Thrones Theme - The Warp Zone


The first of two Game of Thrones covers, this just makes me laugh everytime. Hearing them sing along with extra made up lyrics like 'Peter Dinklage, Peter Dinklage, he's a dwarf and he is small' is great, and watch the reaction as one guy dares to break from the acapella set up to use a violin. Great stuff.

3. Game of Thrones Heavy Version


Game of Thrones cover No.2, this makes it above the previous version simply for coming close to enhancing the original. You can hear this and immediately imagine that it might one day replace the real one. It's a metal version, for a (let's face it) pretty metal fantasy show.

2. Lara, Taylor & Malukah - Fear Not This Night



I've used this in a previous article to illustrate just why the internet and social media is one of the greatest things in our lives today: three people, from different parts of the world, coming together over the internet to create something beautiful. It's a wonderful track from the Guild Wars 2 soundtrack, and hearing it put together by three of my favourite YouTube musicians was a fantastic surprise when I came across it.  

1. Sonne - Children Medieval Band

This shouldn't even require an explanation. It's beyond brilliant, especially the (4 year old?) drummer, who hits harder than the actual Rammstein drummer. Words can't express how amazing this is, so just watch it and bask in it's glory.

The Best Bands That I Discovered

Sometimes, just a single night of browsing on YouTube can gift you a whole host of new bands, and luckily for me I had one such night this year. All the bands here are dominated by females, so anyone who dares suggest that women can't rock as hard as men should give these all a listen (yeah, I don't know anyone who would be stupid enough to think that either, but if you ever look at comments on YouTube videos then the world is apparently still full of them):

5. Butcher Babies

Killer Song: Magnolia Blvd




Twin female vocalists who can both scream with the best of them? I couldn't not love them really, could I? 'Magnolia Blvd' in particular is one of the best songs that I've heard this year, and judging from the live videos they're just as good out of the studio as in, which is a huge plus.

4. Crucified Barbara
Killer Song: Rock Me Like The Devil

As soon as I heard 'Rock Me Like The Devil' I knew I'd like this band. The song in question is based around a fantastic groove-based riff that is up there with the best I've heard in hard rock, and it's another singer who can wail like her vocal chords survive only on whisky.

3. In This Moment
Killer Song: Whore

Now this is a singer who spits venom almost as well as Angela Gossow of Arch Enemy. In This Moment have a style that is subtly different to any other metal band I've heard, and they've got some absolutely cracking songs. Very heavy and very, very good. 

2. Halestorm

Killer Song: Love Bites (So Do I)



'I Miss The Misery' kept popping up on Scuzz when we'd have it on in the background, but I kept missing who the band was. Luckily, they appeared randomly on YouTube for me, and I'm damn glad they did. Probably the most rock as opposed to metal of the bands I've discovered this year, they know how to write a damn catchy song, and Lzzy Hale has a superb voice.

1. The Agonist

Killer Song: Thank You, Pain




Of all the bands I've discovered this year, The Agonist stand head and shoulders above the rest as the greatest. The combination of Alissa White-Gluz's phenomenal scream (and damn good clean voice) and the music from the rest of the band is 

Honourable mentions: Battle Beast, The Pretty Reckless (I didn't discover them this year so they can't count, but I did discover a lot more by them)

Most Exciting Things About The Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special

Because if anything ever deserved it's very own special top 5, it was this:

5. My article!
Just before I went into the cinema to watch The Day of the Doctor, I found out I'd had an article published on www.doctorwhotv.co.uk (my favourite Doctor Who website), which was pretty exciting really. It was only a predictions article, but still it's a start!

4. John Hurt
We knew that he'd be playing 'The War Doctor' thanks to the The Night of The Doctor minisode that aired shortly before, but it was the fact we'd be seeing the Doctor who took part in the Time War that made it so exciting - he didn't disappoint, giving a fantastic and memorable performance as the hardened, older Doctor. It's a shame that we most likely won't see him in the role again, because I'd love to see some more.

3. David Tennant
Well, who couldn't be excited about seeing David Tennant in the role again? Needless to see, it was like he'd never been away, slipping back into the role seamlessly. And he got one of the funniest lines that has ever been written for Doctor Who (War Doctor: 'Timey Wimey?!'; Tenth Doctor: 'I've no idea where he picks that stuff up')

2. Peter Capaldi's Eyes
We're being treated enough to an incredible climax where all the Doctors are appearing (via archive footage, unfortunately...) in their TARDISes when OMG THAT WAS PETER CAPALDI'S EYES! OMG! OMG! OMG! (if you thinks that's a lot of OMGing, here comes entry no.1...)

1. The Night of The Doctor
OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN OMG IT'S PAUL MCGANN repeat to fade

And, although I wanted to do this just as a 'Best of', there was just one thing that I still can't quite get over the disappoint of...

The Most Disappointing Thing to Happen this Year

No new Christopher Ecclestone footage in The Day of the Doctor

I don't care if he didn't want to do it, this was the only disappointment of an otherwise exceptional piece of television/cinema, and it will hurt for a long, long time that we didn't see just five seconds of the aftermath of John Hurt's regeneration from the War Doctor into Christopher Eccleston's Ninth Doctor. To tease the full regeneration sequence and then not follow through on it is the only thing that I can possibly get annoyed with Mr Moffat for, because to me it means that that now we are never going to see it, and that really does upset me. I honestly think it would have been better just not to show it, so as to leave open the possibility that we might one day see it.

Well, I suppose we still might, but I think it would take a miracle.

I still get upset thinking about it.

I just can't understand - it would have been five seconds! How could that not be?!

I'm truly delighted that we got John Hurt specifically because Eccleston didn't want to play the same sort of role, but how could they not negotiate five seconds?

It's just five seconds for crying out loud!

Some Special Thank Yous

There are some things this year that have truly shaped my experiences - these are mainly taken from items above, that I feel need a little extra mention. There's no friends or family on here, because they already know how amazing and awesome they all are.

For The Biggest Single Influence on My Reading Journey This Year, Without Which I Wouldn't Recommend Half The Books I Do in the Library, and Wouldn't Have Been Given a Box of Chocolates as a Thank You, and Without Which I Wouldn't be able to Laugh Everytime I Say 'Have You Tried...'...Emma Pass

Without ACID, I wouldn't have discovered so much YA (particularly dystopian) fiction this year, some of which have been amongst the best books that I've ever read. I might have read The Hunger Games first, but ACID has had a far bigger influence on me. Everyone I've given it to has loved it (including a lovely 75-year old lady!), and I now have a one-and-a-half-sides-of-A4 document of YA dystopian fiction that I make my way through with several young adults, seemingly increasing the number of YA books going out of the library by tenfold. Yep, it is not the slightest exaggeration to say that you, Emma, have helped shape the reading lives of several teenagers in our library, and I'm forever grateful.

Now, is my ARC of The Fearless ready yet?!

For Giving Me One of the Best Fantasy Novels that I Have Ever Read, and Giving Me the Inspiration to Return to the Fantasy Trilogy that I Started Four Years Ago and Consciously Turn It into a YA Series, Because I Want it to be as Good as Yours...Sarah J Maas

What would I have done this year without Celaena, Dorian and Chaol bantering back and forth? How would literally everyone in my life have gotten on with their lives without me wittering on about how I've just come up with this idea, and how that character is going to this, and how this is going to happen, and how etc. etc. etc.?  How would my fantasy team of kick-ass heroines line up with Celaena wise cracking at every junction? Blimey, can you imagine Celaena and Jenna Strong in a room together?!

For Three Wonderful Seasons, So Many Incredible Performances, and Making the Absence of David Tennant Infinitely More Bearable...Matt Smith

God, I really don't know how I'm going to cope this Christmas Day. One of the best young British actors today will sign off from the greatest role in British television history with what has been described in basically every preview report that I've seen as the best performance of his career. He's given us innumerable highs, and I'm absolutely gutted to see him go (although I'm looking forward to Peter Capaldi, of course). So thank you, Matt, for all the memories - see you in the 60th anniversary special!

Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014...

So, overall it was a pretty damn good year. I heard some brilliant music, read some of the best books I'll ever read, and experienced one of the greatest moments of cult television history. You've got some way to go to top last year, 2014, but please feel free to give it your best shot!

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 3 - School Reunion

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 3 - School Reunion

As Giles Anthony Head and his slicked back head of hair descend a set of stairs in an English school, he questions a girl waiting outside the headmaster's office. One scream, the site of flapping wings later, things don't look good for her. It's looking much better for one class though, as The Doctor strides into the classroom, plonks a briefcase on the table, and greets them warmly...

Cut title sequnce...

As The Doctor teaches Physics to the class, one bright spark (Milo) clearly has a bit of a better grasp of the subject than he should do. Rose, meanwhile, is masquerading as one of the dinnerladies. At lunch they discuss how bizarre the school is, being very well behaved and all, when one girl (Melissa) gets moved up a class. Also, nice chips apparently. Bet that can't be a plotpoint. In the kitchen, a barrel of something is being moved through by the staff. Rose takes a call from Mickey, who tells her that three months ago there was massive UFO activity logged by the army, but Torchwood are locking him out. Just as he starts to talk all flirty to her, one of the dinnerladies knocks the barrel over herself, but when Rose tries to call an ambulance she is put off by another dinnerlady, despite the one with the barrel of goo on her appearing to explode in a sealed off room behind. 

In the class Melissa was moved up to, the children all sit in front of PCs, appearing to try and solve a puzzle of a cube with strange markings covering it - they're all damn quick (about 60 of them), but they've not solved it yet. 

Giles The Headteacher is walking down more steps talking to...is that Sarah Jane? From yester-Who? I do believe it is. Anyway, he tells her how wonderful the school is, particularly the chips, and she agrees how awesome the school has become, even if it's blatant that she's there for something else.

In the staff room, The Doctor discusses with another teacher how half the staff were replaced with others when the Headteacher arrived three months back, when Sarah Jane walks in to be introduced by the Headteacher as a journalist doing a piece on him for The Sunday Times. 

One of the children (obviously a nerdy one, because he wears glasses and refused to eat chips because he isn't allowed), hears a noise in the computer room that Melissa was in, and then finds an alien under a desk, which is a bit of a surprise to him. Especially when it turns into the teacher, who tells him to bugger off, which he promptly does.

At night, Sarah Jane breaks into the same room, just as The Doctor, Rose and Mickey are doing the same in another part of the building. They split up to search for clues, although Mickey needs a bit of extra help. The Doctor hears some alien screeching, as does Sarah Jane, and shadows start flying around, and Rose scoops up some goo when more shadows fly overhead, then Sarah Jane bumps into the TARDIS, and then The Doctor, and then we take a breath. They get a bit sentimental, The Doctor telling her that all the Time Lords died, when they hear Mickey scream. Bumping into Rose and quickly running on for fear of a jealous catfight between old companion and new, they find Mickey, who got scared when some bags of yellow colour vacuum-packed rats fell out of a cupboard. Moving through the school, and bickering as they go, they find a group of alien bats sleeping upside down in a room. Fleeing before they get eaten, Sarah Jane shows them a surprise in the trunk of her car - it's K9! Although he's a bit broken. They're being watched from the sky, however. 

In a restaurant, The Doctor tries to fix K9, as Mickey jokes about The Doctor being like any other bloke, having lots of other women in his life before Rose, whilst on a building roof outside The Headmaster watches, calling all the other bat people to him. Sarah Jane questions The Doctor as to why he never came back for her, and though he explains it was because Gallifrey wouldn't allow a human on the planet when he was called back, you can tell it's a flimsy excuse. As she points out, he could've come back. Luckily, K9 comes back online before she can get too narky. Turns out the goo is 'Krillitane Oil', and the bat people are Krillitanes, an amalgamation of the best phyical bits of the people they have conquered. Imagine bat-Borg, I suppose. As they leave, Rose questions him about whether he'll leave her too, but just as he's explaining that it's damn hard knowing he'll live about 50 times as long as her and have to watch her die, one of the Krillitanes swoops down to attack. Looks like it's just a warning shot though, or else it's a really crap alien.

Back at the school, Rose and Sarah Jane go to the computers to analyse the hardware, Mickey stays outisde to play with K9, whilst The Doctor goes off to have a word with the Headteacher. Though he doesn't learn his plan, the Headteacher does tell him that the next time they meet, The Doctor will join the Krillitane. In the computer room, Rose and Sarah Jane finally seem to be getting on, discussing The Doctor's many faults. The Krillitane, on the otherhand, are about to launch the 'final phase', whatever that is. They order all the children into their classrooms, except the kid with glasses who hangs round the playground. In the staff room, all the 'good' teachers seem to get eaten, which is unfortunate, although topped off with a lovely pun about an 'early lunch'. Let's hope it doesn't happen to the children, all of whom are set to ultra-fast-cube-cracking mode on the computers, whilst the doors all lock, trapping them in. The code appears in the room that The Doctor, Sarah Jane and Rose are in, and he recognises it as the 'Skasis Paradigm', which when cracked gives the user control of the building blocks of time and space. The Headteacher ghosts in to suggest that The Doctor becomes a god by his side, with all the good he could do and civilisations that he could save. He looks briefly tempted, but his companions sway him back. 

Outside, K9 suggests using the car to ram the school doors open. Mickey does so, reuniting with the rest of the group inside, the Krillitane giving chase. Trapped in the school hall, K9 comes to the rescue with his laser, allowing them time to flee. The Doctor speculates that the Krillitane Oil is now toxic to the Krillitane themselves because they have changed their physiology so often, and they go off in search of it to put an end to this all. The children are evacuated, as K9 offers to sacrifice himself by blowing up the barrels of goo from point blank range, and Jesus Christ is this a bizarrely emotional scene considering it's a robot dog. The school explodes, much to the delight of the children, who praise Kenny, the boy with glasses.They're clearly not thinking of the tax payers who will have to fund the re-building of the school, but that's kids for you.

Back at the Tardis, Sarah Jane steps inside for the first time in 30/300 years. Though she's offered the chance to be a companion again, she wants to stay behind to build a proper life, so Mickey asks if he can stay. The Doctor agrees, although Rose looks less than pleased. Outside, they say their goodbyes, and she walks off as the TARDIS disappears, leaving behind a repaired K9, and GOD WHY AM I CRYING AGAIN?

Evil teachers running a school? That's how every child feels at one point, isn't it?

This is a really fun episode of Doctor Who, notable especially for bringing back Sarah Jane Smith, companion of the Third and Fourth Doctors, and robot dog K9. Though she's interacting with an incarnation that she hasn't met before, the acting is very strong all round, and you know she's talking to 'The Doctor', not 'The Tenth Doctor', if that makes sense. Elisabeth Sladen slips back into the role as if she's never been away, and the sadness behind her questioning of why The Doctor left her is the highlight of the episode. It's a wonderful way to bridge the gap between old and new, and though I didn't know who she was the first time I watched this episode, I loved knowing that they were bringing a part of Who-history to the forefront. You can tell how much Sarah Jane is hurting that The Doctor never came back for her, and that he chose to have other companions instead. It throws up something that would be true of any companion - they get a taste of this wonderful life travelling the universe, seeing everything it has to offer, and then they have to live ordinary lives where nothing like that happens. That really would be incredibly difficult, and highlights the difficulties that can arise from travel with The Doctor. This gets further touched on at the end of Series 4, when Davros accuses him of turning his companions into soldiers in his name.

Rose gets worried that he'll just leave her to, and with good reason - though he tells her, 'not to you', she points out that he was as close with Sarah Jane once as he is with her now. His explanation, that humans die and he can't bear to see that happen to someone he loves, is cut off when he can't bring himself to say the last bit, which is great news to Doctor/Rose shippers out there who want their love to happen, and a nightmare to those who hate the idea of romance between The Doctor and a companion.

One of the key qualities of a companion is highlighted again, however, when Sarah Jane talks The Doctor out of his brief consideration of using the Skasis Paradigm to become a god. The human companion is always the one that keeps The Doctor on the straight and narrow - just look at what happens in The Waters of Mars without one to stop him from trying to meddle too much with time.

I bet The Doctor has always dreaded former companions meeting like this - it's brilliant watching Rose and Sarah Jane bitch and bicker at each other, and boy do they get some cutting remarks in there each. Especially when Rose says that The Doctor has never mentioned Sarah Jane. Ouch, that one had to burn.

Anthony Head as the chief-Krillitane is wonderful. He positively drips with evil, and it's such a change from seeing him as Giles in Buffy, playing the good guy. There were hints of what he could do in Buffy, like when he confronts Willow for raising Buffy from the dead, but this is something else. Also, The Doctor's trait of offering one chance and then no mercy appears again, as he threatens the head of the Krillitanes before he discovers their plan. Apparently it's an age thing - when you reach 900, you just can't be arsed with naughty people any more.

The Krillitane themselves have a genuine sense of danger about them - when there are swooping alien bats flying around, you can't help but wonder if something is actually going to get eaten, although you're fairly certain that if it was a main character then The Doctor would find a way to have them regurgitated whole.

Whilst it's entertaining, has excellent performances all round, and has a good enemy, there isn't anything that pushes it to the highest realms of Who-excellence. That's not to say it isn't memorable, because Sarah Jane and K9s appearances can't fail to be memorable, but it's very much a case of 'that was great fun, let's move on to the next episode', rather than 'OMG I HAVE TO RUN AROUND SCREAMING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THIS WAS'.

There's more of Who's trademark humour, as The Doctor and one of the teacher's discuss how strange it is that the person The Doctor replaced won the lottery, despite never playing, with a ticket posted through the door at midnight. David Tennant's nonchalant reaction is brilliant, perfectly reminding me why he's so amazingly awesome in the role. What also made me laugh was The Doctor stumbling over calling himself, Rose and Mickey either 'team', 'gang' or 'comrades'. It's a good point - what do we call them? I usually call them either all by their names or 'the group', I think. 'Scooby Gang' is taken by Buffy, after all.

Poor Mickey, yet again - just as he and Rose seem to be getting back to flirty ways, and he starts to open up to her, some silly dinnerlady drops a barrel of goo over herself and Rose has to go investigate. Furthermore, he realises that, just like K9, he's the tin dog of the group. Though he gets full companion status at the end of the episode, Rose clearly doesn't want him around. Just can't win, can he?

Torchwood Mentions
Mickey tries to hack into an army database to discover more about a UFO crash three months previously, but is locked out by a flashing message baring the name 'Torchwood'.

Overall
A fun episode featuring the return of former companion Sarah Jane Smith and robot dog K9, with strong performances from all the main characters. It's not exceptional, but it's damn good.

8/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2 Episode 2 - Tooth and Claw

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2 Episode 2 - Tooth and Claw

Scotland. The 19th Century. A bunch of strange fighting monks demand a man's house and kick all the residents' asses when he refuses, using serious ass kicking and kick ass fighting skills. Locking all of them in the basement, the monks leave something that he must beg God's forgiveness for in there with them. Based on the growl and their screams, it can't be anything good...

Cue title sequence.

Aiming for Sheffield in 1979 to see Ian Drury and The Blockheads live, Rose and The Doctor accidentally end up in Scotland, 1879, stepping out into the middle of the royal guard who are escorting Queen Victoria. It gives The Doctor the chance to show off his Scottish accent, although Rose not so much. Passing themselves off as a doctor and his assistant from Balamory, they receive an audience with the Queen herself, who reads from the psychic paper that they have been appointed her royal protectors. Well, The Doctor has. Rose is just his wingman I suppose. The Queen is travelling an unusual route due to a tree on the train line, most likely an assassination attempt in the air. She is making her way to the house of the unfortunate bloke from the pre-credit sequence, tales of wolves in the area abound.

When they reach the house, there's a scared looking Sir Robert at the window who is being threatened by the head monk fella. Although he tries to dissuade the Queen from staying due to the lack of staff (all currently locked up in the basement), she ignores him, looking forward to her stay on the 'Torchwood Estate'. We just have time to learn of a mysterious box being brought into the house after her, before we glimpse the mysterious beast in the cage in the basement, which appears to be a man with bad teeth hidden in a dressing gown, who is fond of telling everyone to shush. 

In the house, Queen Victoria is shown Sir Robert's father's enormous telescope (nope, it's a real telescope, stop that right now). The Doctor is a tad rude with his description of its faults, still getting to grips with his new personality and all, but the Queen doesn't seem to mind, being fascinated with astronomy and the opportunity that the telescope could offer. When the story of the local wolf crops up though, the strange monk man quickly interrupts to dismiss it. Not that the Queen wants to let it drop, demanding more talk of it once Rose has got some more clothes on and they've eaten.

As Rose tries some clothes on and finds a maid hiding in her cupboard, the guards are given drinks by the monks which immediately sedate them. The maid explains to Rose what happened with the monks, who promises that The Doctor will help, although when they find the guards unconscious on the floor, several monks sneak up on them and kidnap them both. Meanwhile, The Doctor, Queen Victoria, Sir Robert and the arse-licking chief guard share dinner, where The Queen demands that wolf story. Sir Robert looks increasingly uncomfortable under the watchful gaze of the monk man as Queen Victoria continues to pester him. He mentions how a boy goes missing once in a generation, and that the creature is a werewolf. Mr monk man starts to get twitchy as Sir Robert reveals that his father thought the legend was true and that the monks of a local monastery must have turned from God to worshipping the wolf. The Doctor notices the monk man chanting and starts putting two and two together.

Rose and the maid, meanwhile, are now locked in with the other prisoners in the basement. Rose Rose tries to talk to the creature, who seems to have taken over the body of one of the aforementioned boys who was kidnapped. The creature itself isn’t from this planet, and Rose offers to help, but he’s pretty happy being a strange creature and wants to transfer to Queen Victoria and turn Earth into the Planet of the Wolf. Well at least he has ambition. A lot of young people nowadays are just lazy. As the monk is making his move above, the door to the basement opens and moonlight floods in, starting to change the creature into a werewolf. The Doctor arrives in the nick of time to see the werewolf escape, loving ever minute of it, being admonished by Rose for taking his time, before they all escape. Upstairs, the monk man informs the Queen that they want the throne, so she shoots him. 

 As the newly escaped residents of the castle prepare to fight the monster, The Doctor discovers him down a corridor. They fend him off with plenty of gunshots initially, but then he steals a cocky person by hiding in the ceiling, and everything goes a bit downhill, though the innocent maids are left alone for now.

The Doctor, Rose and Sir Robert find the Queen, and they begin to search for a way out, but the monks outside shoot at them to force them to stay inside with the werewolf. They run around for a bit, fleeing the creature, and letting the captain of the guard sacrifice himself as they barricade themselves in a large room. It stalks around the outside for a bit, looking for a way in, causing The Doctor to question why it can't enter. Sir Robert admits his guilty conscience that it's all his fault, and then Queen Victoria lets off some steam about the whole saga, especially the fact that The Doctor isn't talking in a Scottish accent any more. The maids in the kitchen and The Doctor realise at the same time that the mistletoe is what stops the wolf coming in, the maids because the monks outside are wearing it and there's mistletoe in the kitchen, and The Doctor because there are carvings of it on the doors. The maids brew up a mistletoe...brew, and The Doctor and friends use the library (yep, the room they are in is a library, which is my sort of room) to try and look up anything useful that might have been left by Sir Robert's father. They find an etching that tells of how a meteor arrived to Earth 300 years ago. Perhaps regrowing itself from a single cell over all that time, it used human hosts to heal. ‘The Empire of the Wolf’ would accelerate Victorian England into the space age, and because steam punk never actually happened, they need to stop it. Queen Victoria reveals she has the most precious diamond in the world, which surely won’t come back as a plot device in the next few minutes. Remembering that the diamond was always ‘unfinished’, as Prince Albert was never happy with it and needed it continually recut, The Doctor starts to hop around as if he’s just sniffed a line when he realises that perhaps the house contains a trap for the wolf. Hang on, wasn’t the telescope also unfinished?

Very rudely, the wolf interrupts them by dropping through the sky light, nearly catching Rose, but luckily the maids get there just in time to throw the mistletoe soup over it and sending it running temporarily. The Doctor, Rose, Queen Vic and Sir Robert run to a room and – oh look! The telescope room! Sir Robert leaves the room to sacrifice himself valiantly, while The Doctor and Rose move the telescope into position. Actually, The Doctor tells Rose it’s more of a ‘light chamber’. So a big ray gun then. It charges up using the power of the moon just as the wolf breaks in and tries to get to the Queen, but luckily The Doctor throws the diamond at the ray beam on the floor and it reflects into the wolf, revealing the victim beneath who begs to be ‘let go’, which The Doctor does by turning up the beam.

There’s a bit of ambiguity as the Queen looks very dodgy when insisting she hasn’t been bitten, just attacked by a splinter from the door breaking, before naming The Doctor ‘Sir Doctor of TARDIS’, and Rose ‘Dame Rose of the Powell Estate’. There’s a tiny bit of vomit we have to choke back as The Doctor tells the Queen that her husband is watching out for her from beyond the grave, before she banishes the pair of them from the British Empire for being strange alien people who think all this terrible life to be good fun.

Making their way back to the TARDIS, The Doctor speculates that maybe it was a werewolf bite the Queen got after all, and that explains the ‘Royal Disease’ she was known to have, as were her children, which would make the whole Royal family werewolves, of course. Well, in a hundred years’ time perhaps.

The Queen and Sir Robert’s widow discuss the events, and the Queen declares that she shall found a special institute, The ‘Torchwood Institute’ (after the house this has all taken part in), to combat alien threats. Torchwood will be waiting, Doctor…

I have mixed feelings about this episode. On the one hand, David Tennant has slipped seamlessly into the roll a couple of episodes in, and Billie Piper is perfect once again. It’s got funny moments, such as Rose’s Scottish accent (which has to be a highlight of the entire series) and the continual ‘We are not amused’ bet, and in terms of tension it’s well done as we know any of the people in the house (barring The Doctor, Rose and Queen Victoria of course) can die. However, it’s just not got anything to make it stand out particularly. 

I’ve never been the biggest of werewolf fans, although this is a very good example with a different explanation than the norm, and this doesn’t do anything to make me want to watch it again at any point, so it would have to go onto the ‘skip’ pile sadly.

It does have a very important role in bringing the idea of the Torchwood Institute to light, even giving the idea of it being something to protect the British Empire from The Doctor if need be. It’s always nice to see these little ideas again when you watch something back knowing what will happen in future episodes and series. There’s a great harkback to the Bad Wolf as well, as the creature tells Rose that she has ‘something of the wolf about you’.

The Doctor is obviously still getting to grips with his new personality a bit, hence his rudeness when describing the telescopes faults, and I like the fact that it obviously takes him a little while to settle into who he is - he knows how one should courteously act, so it's not surprising that he needs to take a little time to work through his personality changes after a regeneration. The Ninth Doctor loved everything weird and wonderful, but we see the Tenth call the werewolf 'beautiful' with a smile, which to me is one of his trademarks. He always seems to find beauty in the terror that everyone else is feeling!

'Well, they were bald, athletic, your wife's away...I just though you were happy.' Wonderful innuendo suggesting that maybe Sir Robert is more of a 'man's man'.

'You wanted weapons? We're in a library. Best weapons in the world!' As I work in a library, I have to say this is one of my favourite quotes ever.

The initial reveal of the wolf in human form is good, as the sharp teeth etc. make it seem very sinister. The idea that Prince Albert continued to have the diamond cut to make it correct for saving the Queen is a bit ropey though, depending on how far into it you look – if the Queen has continued to cut it since his death, it must be bloody good luck for it to be exactly right this particularly year, as surely they couldn’t know these events would take place this exact year. Also, if the wolf had stepped 2 paces to the right, it would have avoided the light beam entirely. Still, usually best not to look into these things too deeply. Doctor Who fans are known for their lack of probing into hidden meanings within every aspect of the Whoniverse, after all.

Torchwood Mentions

Queen Victoria proposes to found the ‘Torchwood Institute’ to protect the British Empire against alien threats. The house in the episode is ‘Torchwood House’, and it has all taken place on the ‘Torchwood Estate’.

Overall

Some very funny moments a decent amount of tension, but there’s nothing to elevate it beyond a ‘monster of the week’ feel. If you had to avoid watching an episode this season, this would be a strong candidate.

6/10

Final Predictions for the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special

Final Predictions for the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special

It's nearly time. It is so, so nearly time. On Saturday 23rd November 2013, we will witness the 50th Anniversary Special of Doctor Who, and the last few feverish months of anticipation that we've experience since we first saw John Hurt appear at the end of Series 7 in The Name of the Doctor will all come to a head. There's been endless speculation, and I'd like to cast my final predictions for what OMG moments we're going to see.

The internet has already predicted two major points of the special correctly:

1. The Eighth Doctor regenerating into John Hurt's Doctor, and
2. The Time War

So, here's four more, based on nothing more than desire and guesswork (in particular the last one):

1. We will see John Hurt regenerate into Christopher Eccleston's Ninth Doctor. I'm cheating ever so slightly when I stipulate that this might happen in the other minisode, The Last Day, which we currently no absolutely nothing about except that it'll be roughly the same length as The Night of the Doctor, and that it'll presumably be broadcast at some point soon, perhaps after the special has taken place. *The Last Day has of course now been shown, and we didn't see the regeneration into Eccleston.* Whether it happens here or in the main programme, I refuse to believe that we aren't going to see the regeneration into Eccleston at some point. Even before McGann appeared in The Night of the Doctor, I refused to believe that this wouldn't happen, and I'm even more confident now. It's literally the only thing that I can imagine will leave me slightly disappointed if it doesn't occur. I can't believe that Eccleston couldn't negotiate the 30-seconds or so it would take for him to have regenerated in the Henrik's department store that he first meets Rose in, quickly look around for a new outfit to replace his battle damaged one, and then hear Rose scream and head off to rescue her. Simple.
2. The new direction that the show is going in occurs because the Time War is no longer time-locked, and the Time Lords are brought back. I literally can't imagine any other way that it could head in a new direction apartment from that, unless it turns out that The Doctor really doesn't have any lives left (due to the War Doctor regeneration, and the meta-crisis Doctor also counting as one), and that Peter Capaldi is actually a different Time Lord - or that what ever Wibbly-Wobbly-Timey-Wimey thing that happens means that time is reset to the point where John Hurt time-locked the Time War, and the three Doctors after him no longer exist. But I can't see that happening, as it would be a step too far in my opinion to utterly erase the Ninth, Tenth and Eleventh Doctors from history. So that leaves the Time Lords returning. True, it wouldn't be a new direction in terms of how the classic-era Who used to be, but it would be for new-Who. There's absolutely no evidence in any of the promo-material for this happening, but what the hell - there's only a few days left, so why not let wild speculation run rampant?
3. Finally, because this is the Time War we're talking about, I'm going to say that we'll see The Master in there at some point. Firstly, because we now he was resurrected during it, and if The Doctor is going to be one of the great warriors of the Time War then surely he would fight alongside The Master, even if he ran away to hide when The Cruciform fell and Gallifrey burned. Surely these are the sort of scenes we'll see in the Time War, especially as that's the sort of catalyst that would make The Doctor think the end was nigh and he had no choice but to use The Moment to end the war. Secondly, because if the Daleks are going to be in special as The Doctor's greatest enemies, surely The Master should make a brief cameo. Yes, we've been told that this is all about looking forward, not back and yada yada yada, but don't you want to see Derek Jacobi as The Master just for a brief while longer? He was so deliciously evil for the brief minutes before he regenerated into John Simm, it's like imagining what Paul McGann would be like with more screen time (and now we know!). In fact, the only disappointment I would feel there is that it wouldn't be John Simm in the role, as he's one of my highlights of new-Who. 
4. Almost without question now, I'm expecting all the surviving former-Doctors to make brief appearances. I can imagine it working if The Doctor's time stream is split somehow, and they only need a brief minute or so each to complete some essential task. Or perhaps The Doctor himself is split into his previous incarnations in the TARDIS console room, just for 30 seconds or so until they can get themselves under control. Or perhaps as the Time War is unlocked, The Doctor flashes between his previous selves momentarily, each of them just as surprised as each other. Perhaps they can blame some corruption in time for the fact that they all look older (and a little larger-waisted in some cases...). I can't remember what the reason they gave for Peter Davison looking older in the Time Crash special, but they could easily use that again. Whatever happens, there is clearly plenty of opportunity for this to happen in some form or other. I'm not about to get into a massive argument about whether not having them does a disservice to the fans, because I trust 100% that Steven Moffat is the best person to deliver this episode and will ultimately do what is right for Doctor Who, and also because I'm really a new-Who fan that appreciates classic-Who more than wants to watch all the episodes, so the most important previous Doctor to have now we've had Paul McGann is the Ninth. But it'd be a hell of a talking point if they all appeared.

So, a couple of obvious predictions, and a couple perhaps a little more outlandish. It's not long to go now. I'll be in the cinema at 19:50 on Saturday 23rd November 2013, fumbling with my sonic screwdriver in my pocket in a heightened state of excitement, and I bet I'll be surrounded by plenty of Whovians doing the same thing. One things for certain - we're all going to experience an incredible climax. 

Some Thoughts on the Doctor Who minisode 'The Night of the Doctor'

I’m sitting here at work having just watched the minisode ‘The Night of the Doctor’, trying to stop shaking and squealing. I work in a library, and as I’m supposed to be in charge of a relatively quiet environment, I suppose I should really be practicing what I preach. But honestly, what I’ve just witnessed are 7 of the greatest minutes of my geek life.

If you haven’t already watched it, make sure you do, because there are MASSIVE spoilers coming. And I mean MASSIVE. I’ll give you another warning after the clip.

I’ll give you a minute to stop squealing.

…

…

…

Right, that’s enough time.

*SPOILERS*

*SPOILERS*

*SPOILERS*

*SPOILERS*

What you’ve just seen is Paul McGann’s Eighth Doctor, in the middle of the Time War, regenerating into John Hurt’s ‘War Doctor’.

I’ll repeat that.

What you’ve just seen is Paul McGann’s Eighth Doctor, in the middle of the Time War, regenerating into John Hurt’s ‘War Doctor’.

THE EIGHTH DOCTOR.

REGENERATING.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TIME WAR.

INTO JOHN HURT’S ‘WAR DOCTOR’.

OMG I’M HAVING A NERDGASM.

I just need to address these points.

The Eighth Doctor

Yes, despite all the denials, Paul McGann’s Eighth Doctor has finally had some more screen time. We’ve seen just what he can do with the role, and even in those few minutes he’s shown just what a shame it is that he never got the chance to do it more often. I’ve not ever gotten round to listening to any of the audio adventures, but I know the praise he gets for his performances there, and it’s wonderful to see just a small glimpse on screen.

I saw the note about the minisode that said either Matt Smith, David Tennant or John Hurt would appear, and I also saw a rumour that Paul McGann had been filming for the minisode months ago, but I honestly never expected it to be him at the beginning. I’m sat at one of the computers during my lunch break and I startled my colleagues good and proper when I let out a squeal of glee.

Regenerating

I’d just gotten over the initial excitement of seeing the Eighth Doctor when I began to wonder whether I might be just about to witness his regeneration, especially as his costume appeared to be the same as that which John Hurt has been wearing in all the publicity material for the 50^th Anniversary episode. Low and behold…the Eighth Doctor finally gets his regeneration! This has to be one of the most eagerly anticipated events surrounding the 50^th Anniversary, one which practically all Whovians wanted to see, and now we have it. It also confirms that John Hurt’s Doctor comes between McGann and Eccleston’s, although if we’re speculating even further there isn’t any confirmation that Hurt will actually regenerate into Eccleston. But that would cause my head to explode from too much thinking, so let’s abandon that idea for now and just bask in the glory that goes with knowing that at least two of our major hopes came true – we’ve seen the Eight Doctor regenerate, and we know that John Hurt is definitely a missing link.

In The Middle Of The Time War

Yes, yes, yes – thank the gods, we really do appear to be seeing the Time War in the 50^th Anniversary special. We know that this all took place in the middle of it, although The Doctor appears to not be taking part at the beginning of it, but by the end we know that he’s going to immerse himself fully in it. I don’t think there’s anyone out there who didn’t ever believe that it wouldn’t play a major role, especially after the trailers, but it’s great that it’s all but been confirmed now.

Into John Hurt’s ‘War Doctor’

So, that’s who John Hurt is. ‘The War Doctor’, who chose to regenerate specifically into a warrior with the help of the Sisterhood of Karn and their elixir of life. And once he had regenerated, he uttered the chilling words, ‘Doctor no more’. We’re going to presume that he shall regenerate into Christopher Eccleston, because could we really handle another twist where he doesn’t? One thing’s for certain – this is a Doctor built specifically to fight the Time War, and he isn’t going to take any prisioners. At the very end, all we see is his relfection, and it’s clearly a younger version of John Hurt, so we can also assume that he fights in the Time War for a very long time. After all, Matt Smith roamed around for 200 years as he claimed at the start of Series 6 and didn’t age a day, so just how long must the Time War have lasted for the War Doctor to age so visibly?

OMG I’m Having A Nerdgasm

If you ever wanted a lesson on how to pretty much explode the heads of every geek on the internet in 7 minutes, then you’ve just witnessed it. There are some wonderful things to come out of this, mainly the hope that, now we’ve seen Paul McGann despite rigorous denials, the likelihood that we’ll see more past Doctors has just gotten ever larger. Personally, I only need to see five seconds of Christopher Eccleston to make me happy (SURELY?! I REFUSE to believe he won’t be in it!), but I’d love to see all of the rest in some way or another.

Also, did you notice the line about how the elixir can bring The Doctor back however he wants, including man or woman? Nicely set up for the future there, Mr Moffat!

Oh, and also the wink to the audience as Paul McGann’s first line is ‘I’m a doctor, but probably not the one you were expecting?’, as we were all surely expecting John Hurt.

Oh, and how he says ‘Will it hurt?’ before the regeneration, alluding to the fact that he’s about to become John Hurt?

Oh, and how the elixir is the 'Flame of Eternal Life'? Does that mean those he drink it get eternal life? I.e. unlimited regenerations?

Oh, and how you really have to go and watch it again and again?

Roll on November 23^rd. I can’t bloody wait!

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 1 – New Earth

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 1 – New Earth

The Doctor paces around the TARDIS, pressing buttons and pulling levers. Rose bids Jackie and Mickey goodbye, ready to leave on another adventure, further than they’ve ever been before…

Cue title sequence…

They arrive in the year 5,000,000,023 in the galaxy M-87, at New Earth. Cars are flying around, and the landscape is frankly bloody amazing – I wish we had a futuristic landscape like this nowadays, and ‘apple grass’ that smelt amazing, rather than of cow poo. They link arms, look into each other’s arms, and tell each other how much they love travelling together, and once we’ve wiped up the vomit that’s just come out at them being so lovey-dovey, we move on. They’re being watched however by someone and their toy spider robot, and they seem excited that Rose is ‘pure-blood’. 

The Doctor explains that New Earth was founded after the original Earth was destroyed in The End of the World in Series 1. They’re in the city of New New York (technically the 15^th of the name). Being observed again, we hear someone who sounds awfully like Casandra from the same episode...It IS Cassandra! I thought she’d popped?  Anyway, The Doctor had a message on his psychic paper asking him to come to ‘Ward 26’, so they’re off to the local hospital. It appears to be full of cat people doctors, which understandably shocks Rose, but The Doctor tells her not to stare, as her own human-pink and yellow person will probably look strange to them. He gets into a lift to Ward 26, but Rose is too late and has to get into the adjoining one – the strange guy helping Cassandra has control though, so The Doctor heads up, whilst she heads down. The disinfection process that The Doctor tries to warn Rose about takes her a bit by surprise though, blasting water at her, before drying her off. I HATE being wet. That would be HELL for me.

Rose arrives in the basement, only to bump into the creepy guy helping Cassandra, who says in his best creepy voice, ‘The human child is clean’. He tells her to follow him, so she picks up a metal weapon before doing so, which is a good move I’d expect.

The Doctor makes it to Ward 26, lamenting the lack of a shop, but smiling when he realises that it was the Face of Boe who called for him. Although he’s dying of old age, so there’s no cure. Apparently he’s thousands, or even millions of years old.

Rose enters a room where an old film is playing of a party with a lady who Rose recognises as a younger Cassandra, who it turns out is just behind her, with her helper Gollum Chip. She still needs moisturising.

At this point, I'd like to moan about how I'd spent another hour and a half writing up the majority of the rest of this review, only for what I'd typed not to save and I lost the entire bloody lot. However, I've noticed that my reviews seem to be getting longer and longer, and surely can't be much fun for anyone to read, and if you're anything like me it's probably the comments below the recap of the storyline that you're actually interested in, so from now on I'm going to try and shorten the recap down considerable. With that in mind, here's the rest of the recap, in very short form as I still can't find the energy to do it in detail:

Cassandra puts her mind into Rose's body, which comes across as bizarrely erotic due to Billie Piper's posh accent (or is that just me?). The doctor suspects something but doesn't realise that it's Cassandra. When they investigate the strange fact that illnesses that shouldn't be curable yet are being cured, they go in search of the reason, heading into a secret part of the hospital, where the secret is revealed - there are thousands upon thousands of human bodies kept in pods, grown specifically to be infected with every single disease, so that they can come up with the cure quickly. When The Doctor confronts some of the cat doctors, they claim that they are doing it for good, but The Doctor orders them all to be shut down, and also wants to know what they've done with Rose. Cassandra reveals herself at this point, knocking out The Doctor and placing him in a pod, but when the cat people threaten her she releases all the patients. Bye bye all cat doctors in the vicinity.

And that's where I got up to, so back on with the show.

The Doctor and Rose/Cassandra flee, and Cassandra decides that this would be a great time to try being The Doctor, freeing Rose and taking over his consciousness, in what must be one the greatest camp performances in science-fiction history. They flee up an escape shaft, as the plague victims flood the hospital. Swapping back and forth between Rose and The Doctor, she eventually has to get inside a plague victim to aid the escape, getting a hint of how lonely they are. When they finally make it back into the main hospital, it looks like the 'healthy' patients are going to try to break quarantine, so The Doctor and Rose/Cassandra flee down the lift shaft with a load of medicine bags. At the bottom they make a medicine cocktail, and then start the lift disinfection process using it, soaking them all with the antidote to their ills, which spreads amongst them, curing everyone. The Doctor's pretty excited that he got to play at being a doctor. I just can't help but wonder why he didn't change into dry clothes immediately.

Before they leave New Earth, The Face of Boe promises to meet The Doctor one last time and tell his secret then. There's also the matter of Cassandra being in Rose's body still. Cassandra leaves Rose to be in Chip's body, but as he only has a half-life, his body begins to fail. Cassandra/Chip refuses any extra medical aid, saying it's time that she died, and as one last act of kindness The Doctor taken her/him back to a party that she attended in her younger days, when she wasn't a sheet of skin. Cassandra tells her younger self how beautiful she looks, before dying. The Doctor and Rose leave in silence.

Series 2 is up and running, and it's an interesting start. Visiting New Earth far in the future is exciting, as is seeing all the aliens in the hospital. The main theme of the story, breeding humans to have supposedly never learned to feel anything so that others can be cured is one of those that can inspire great debate (think of the argument of whether animals should be tested on to develop cures for humans and it's basically the same thing), as you can understand where the cat doctors are coming from, although it's clear really that they're wrong. It's this, along with the chemistry between Tennant and Piper that is already developing marvellously, that make up the episode's strongest points. 

The ending is a bit of a let down, to be honest. Cassandra goes from complaining and whining whilst in Rose's body, to sudden acceptance in Chip's, and it's a bit too abrupt a chance to be believable. Still, they had to end the episode somehow I suppose, but I've seen much stronger finishes. It's still a good episode, with excellent humour in places, but I'm not desperate to see it again soon.

In terms of the characters, when Rose links arms with The Doctor after their arrival on New Earth, and tells him how much she loves travelling with him, it’s pretty obvious again what her heart is really saying. His reply that he does too, whilst less than obvious than Rose’s declaration, marks the start of the real path down their romantic link, which will culminate in the finale, Doomsday. Well, it’ll truly reach a conclusion in the Series 4 finale, Journey’s End, but that’s the meta-Doctor, so doesn’t count here. It’s a controversial move for many fans, having The Doctor and companion fall in love, but it’s only with hindsight that we really recognise it on his part at this point. Cassandra in The Doctor's body spells it out at one point, as she comments on how she knows that Rose thinks The Doctor is foxy.

The episode has some hilarious moments, as we've come to expect at this point. Having lost half of my review, I can't pinpoint all the classic moments, but there are plenty. What I can remember are little snippets, such as Cassandra (in The Doctor's body) declaring that 'no matter how difficult the situation, there is no need to shout! whilst they are being chased by the plague victims, or her horror as she realises 'I'm a chav!' when she first goes into Rose. It's classic modern Who humour, and it's carried on perfectly from Series 1. Both Piper and Tennant as Cassandra are wonderful. Whilst Piper plays her as being very seductive (seriously, there's something incredibly sexy about it all), Tennant goes for the giddy excitable side, which is a wonder to behold. 

This is such a small thing, but it’s one bit that I’ve always loved about the Tenth Doctor – when The Doctor first gets into the hospital lift without Rose, he shouts down to her a few times to watch out for the disinfectant, which she mishears each time, so he just says ‘Oh, you’ll find out…’ to himself. Whenever I think of Tennant’s portrayal, a large part of it is taking up by him talking to himself like this, so it’s great to see it back so early on. Wasn’t that a lovely little point to talk about? I think so.

In another small aside, Mickey gets a kiss goodbye (on the lips!) for a change, but still no return to his ‘I love you’ from Rose – poor lad.

David Tennant has already slipped into the role brilliantly, displaying lots of the characteristics that make him one of the most popular Doctors of all time. No matter how great Ecclestone was, he's already forgotten now.

Hats off to Billie Piper once more - her performance as Cassandra is excellent fun, and she shows her acting chops well when Cassandra has just returned to her following being in a plague victim's head - the despair she feels is obvious.

How Does It Fit Into The Series As A Whole

The Face of Boe says that The Doctor will meet him one final time, and reveal his great secret. This will happen in Series 3 - ill resist posting a spoiler.

Overall

It's not the greatest episode, but there's a strong moral conundrum to debate, and Tennant and Piper are playing off each other wonderfully, with great performances as Cassandra in turn.

7/10