Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 3, Episode 1 - Smith & Jones

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 3, Episode 1 - Smith & Jones

Ooh, that's different - Series 3 starts with no pre-credits sequence! And that is...of absolutely no consequence, really.

Anyway, here we go...

Ah, Martha. You're funny, friendly, beautiful...but you're going to get no joy from The Doctor here. Still, you've got 13 episodes to find that out, so for now we'll join you walking down the street as you try to sort out your family's lives (including Reggie Yates from Radio1! Reggie's awesome). To be honest, Martha, I wouldn't want Aniliese there either, but families, eh? Oh, it's The Doctor! Being all strange and taking his tie off just to confuse her. He's gone again now.

Martha's on her way to work at the hospital, being bumped into by a dodgy looking biker and attracting lightning from her locker amongst other things, and OH MY GOD THAT'S 'MARTHA'S THEME' PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND! I LOVE that bit of music! Best bit of music ever in Who besides the theme. Bloody love it. Whilst on her rounds, she discovers a sweet old lady who will in no way become relevant to the story, some more biker people, and 'John Smith', who looks suspiciously like The Doctor and feels 'bleugh'. Apparently he wasn't running around this morning, though it's the dual heartbeats that really confuzzle her.

Stranger still, it seems that it's only raining on the hospital, and it's raining 'up'. And then the building starts earthquaking massively and they've ended up on the Moon. Which is unusual for Martha, though I'm pretty sure The Doctor suspected something might happen. It all gets a bit chaotic in the hospital, with people running around like headless chickens. The Doctor then reveals himself to be  more than just a patient, and they head outside to have a look, glad for the fact that they've got air from somewhere. She seems spectacularly unsurprised that they've ended up on the Moon, but now that humanity knows about aliens following the Cybermen and the Racnoss...and the role that she played in Series 2 which was her 'cousin', she's not surprised by anything.

Just as they realise that the air will run out eventually and suffocate 1,000 people, some spaceships land, revealing the Judoon space police (well, more like police-for-hire, or intergalactic space thugs). Inside, the old lady confronts the hospital chief doctor consultant man, revealing herself to be a nasty alien lady, in control of the biker people, who wants to suck out his innards with a straw. The Judoon also march into the hospital, scattering plenty of scared patients everywhere, and revealing themselves to be humanoid rhinos who want to 'catalogue' all the patients. That means they're after something non-human, which is bad news for The Doctor...One guy gets executed when he commits a crime by smacking a Judoon over head with a vase. Bit extreme, but we're on the Moon so everything goes I guess. 

The Doctor shows Martha his sonic screwdriver, explaining how he was just checking out some plasma coils which turned out to be the Judoon in orbit. If they find the hospital guilty of harbouriing a fugitive, they'll blow it up, including the people. Martha runs off to find the head of the hospital, but finds the old lady sucking his brains out with a straw, so decides that running away is a better option, which I heartily agree with. Reuniting with The Doctor, they flee from the alien lady's henchmen, eventually losing him by zapping him with an extra-radiated x-ray. His sonic screwdriver is a bit buggered though. He also deduces that the old lady is assimilating the old chap's blood, so that she registers as human. 

They round a corner and meet face to face with some Judoon, who confirm for Martha that The Doctor is non-human. They head for Mr Stoker's office, finding him completely drained of blood. Realising that she'll be heading to the MRI scanner, he kisses Martha because of course, and runs off to find alien lady. He gets himself sort of captured, pretends to be human, finds out some of her plans, and then she tries to suck his brains out through her straw. Though she goes through his neck, so maybe I was wrong about the brains bit.

The Judoon burst in at this point and declare The Doctor dead. Martha realises though that the old lady will now register as non-human, before the Judoon execute her as she tries to blow the hospital. The Judoon bugger off at this point, which is typical of rhinos as they always do this shit on other planets, and the hospital looks screwed. Martha does the decent thing and tries to bring The Doctor back to life, using the last of her oxygen to give him the kiss of life. It works, though she looks a big of a goner, and The Doctor successfully modifies the scanner and what not, saving the day. Well, there's still no oxygen, which is generally negative. Never fear though, the Judoon reverse the whole process just in time, and the hospital is sent back to Earth.

Still dazed by the incident, Martha looks on forlornly as The Doctor disappears in the TARDIS. Later, she listens to a colleague on the radio talking about the wonder of it all, smiling. Her father, mother and father's girlfiend argue outside a club, taking Martha's siblings with them, and eventually moving out of the way for Martha to notice The Doctor gazing at her from round a corner (seriously, it's not like he didn't slightly give her the hint that he was interested in her). She chases after him, having that oh-so-special 'it's bigger on the inside' moment, engages in a bit of mild flirting, and then off they go!


First things first, Martha is great, right from the off. She's different than Rose, that's all, though she's far better at sussing out alien things, and already I can feel the pangs of sadness that she'll only last a season. It really is difficult to pick a favourite companion, because they've all been fantastic in their own ways, but Martha always gets the least praise, completely unfairly. She's played brilliantly by Freema Agyeman, and if they don't take the character over to Torchwood when it finally starts up again then they're missing a great opportunity.

Martha also saves his life with a bit of CPR, which means that either The Doctor was relying on her doing this or he was genuinely willing to let himself die just to save everyone in the hospital; knowing The Doctor, it's probably more the latter. What a darn good fellow he is.

The Doctor shows the signs of his recent loss at the end where he tells Martha that she isn't replacing Rose and gets a bit grumpy, and it's this that will affect their relationship throughout. You can see the massive impact that Rose had on him, more perhaps than any other companion except Sarah Jane Smith, though the fact that you know Ten was actually in love with her goes a long way to explaining that.

It's perfect, PERFECT Tenth Doctor when Martha discovers his second heartbeat and he gives her a small wink. Followed by his discussion of being involved in Ben Franklin's discovery of lightning (having been electrocuted himself in the process apaprently).

Also a great in joke for those who remember the Zovirax cold sore adverts.

The whole sequence where The Doctor gets Mrs Finnigan's plan out of her (GCSE Magnets, Geography and fifteen years as a postman) is superb, perfect for the Tenth Doctor, and looking back on it now I really feel it should be a contender for 'Best Way He Got Someone's Plan Out Of Them' (because he's really rather good at it').

You can tell why Martha ends up with The Doctor; the first to establish that they're on the Moon, the one who realises that because they're breathing there must still be air surrounding them...As soon as he 'reveals' himself (I can't think how to write that without making it sound like he exposes himself...) to her, he's obviously taken to her:
Doctor: We might die.
Martha: We might not.
Doctor: Good(!)

One of David Tennant's more bizarre moments as she tries to get rid of the radiation in his body through his shoe, dancing like he's got bees in his trousers (Martha: You're completely mad. The Doctor: You're right, I look daft with one shoe). Anybody else really bugged that he opens a clinical waste bin with his hands and doesn't wash them?!

One of the Judoon trips up the stairs! It's only ever so slightly but it's there!

Mentions of Mr Saxon
Martha's colleague on the radio at the end mentions how Mr Saxon was right about what's out there, and there are 'Vote Saxon' posters behind Martha in the alley at the end. We don't know who he's going to be at this point, though he's obviously a politician, but come the end of the season...

Overall
It's a solid start, with a brilliant introduction for Martha who is great from the off. The Tenth Doctor doesn't suffer from not having Rose around, and though it doesn't have the greatest villain of all time, it's fun throughout.

8/10

Doctor Who Spoiler Filled Review - Series 8, Episode 1 - Deep Breath

Doctor Who - Series 8, Episode 1 - Deep Breath

And so begins a new era of Doctor Who.

Eight months after we had the first fleeting glimpse of Peter Capaldi's Twelfth Doctor, we finally get to have our first full episode with him. Is he everything we want him to be? Yep, definitely, perfectly slotting into the role as if he's been doing this all his life (which, given his very public love of the series and character, who probably has been doing).

I'll go out on a limb and say that it's possibly my favourite debut of a character so far. I must be the only person who didn't warm to Matt Smith in his first episode (I'm so warm about him now that I'm almost nuclear, please understand, but I just didn't feel it for most of the opening until the very end), and David Tennant spent half of his first episode asleep (though he owned it pretty much straight away after that). Previously I'd have probably said that Christopher Eccleston impressed me most upon his debut, but there's something more about Capaldi here that just grabs me; possibly it's because I just couldn't picture exactly how he'd play the character, and now that I've seen it I'm sold 100%. He's got the intensity of an older figure, whilst perfectly nailing the comedy that we'd expect from a younger Doctor, perfectly wrapped up in the gravitas of one of Britain's best television actors. 

From his first almost-drunken stumblings to his conversation with a tramp down a back alley, we see a Doctor struggling to deal with himself post-regeneration, showing worrying signs of a lack of respect for others (would he really steal the tramp's coat), but a magnified eccentricism as he goes about tracking down clues to a series of murders. When he later meets Clara in a restaurant and helps defeat the enemy of the week, his demeanour begins to calm somewhat, and what is likely to be the more standard-fare of Capaldi's delivery becomes apparent, which would seem to be that which we've been promised; a Doctor who is distinctly more alien, not quite as keen on explaining or apologising for what he's up to, and someone who is most definitely NOT going to become his companion's boyfriend.

Inevitably I've talked about Capaldi exclusively so far, but Jenna Coleman is fantastic, too. With a much different role this series than the 'Impossible Girl' of last, I'm hoping that the fandom in general will find more reasons to warm to her. I'll admit that her previous storyline was one of my least favourites of New-who, because of it's execution and lack of intriguing titbits as it progressed (unlike how most of the other series-long arcs have played out) and not due to her portrayal. Indeed, Coleman has such a wonderful smile and sense of fun about her she's impossible not to love in my opinion, and I'm hoping her different relationship with The Doctor this year will bring out the best in the storyline.

Her frustration, anger and woe at the loss of her Doctor, and the appearance of this grouch and erratic new one is really the central core of this episode, and the troubling moment where The Doctor appears to abandon her as he reasons that there's no point in both of them getting caught is rather a shocking one, both to her and to us. Of course, it appears to just have been a part of his bigger plan eventually, but for a moment we really don't know whether he's actually going to be standing behind her when she hedges her bets that he will. Otherwise, she has a great scene there where she stands up to the Half-Face man and calls his bluff.

The appearance of the Paternoster Gang is always welcome, particularly Strax. Madame Vestra and Jenny have some great moments (particularly involving a painting), but Strax steals the show time and time again. Yes, I'm sure he annoys a lot of people, but I find him hilarious every time. It's always welcome to have a bit more Strax!

I wasn't quite as taken with the villains as perhaps I'd have liked. It was nice to visit the clockwork droids from Series 2's The Girl in the Fireplace, but I never particularly found any sympathy for the main villain, even though his was essentially a sad story of someone just trying to find paradise. Sad, yes, but he killed a dinosaur who The Doctor managed to tell us (though translation in his sleep) was really depressed and heartbroken at being ripped away from her home, so sod him.

Thinking about it, I've not really mentioned the episode's storyline at all. It certainly has a 'villain of the week' feel, but then most Doctor-debut episodes do. It serves to introduce the new Doctor, have a bit of conflict with his confused companion (which led to a wonderful scene in the restaurant, full of very funny lines), and then let us head on without further thought. Except that's not entirely true; there were two moments towards the end that are very important, for two very different reasons. The first was the not-unexpected-in-the-slightest-if-you-use-the-internet moment where Clara receives a phone call from Matt Smith's Doctor, telling her that the new Doctor needs her help more than she needs his. It was wonderful to have just a tiny bit more Matt Smith, and led to Capaldi's best delivery of the episode, where he told Clara, 'You look at me and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like?'

The second was the appearance of Missy, who we've been told already is the Gatekeeper of the 'Nethersphere'. No-one was expecting her appearance so early one (just like Clara in last series' opening episode), so naturally the internet is now abuzz at her true purpose. There's a good deal of speculation that she's a new incarnation of The Master (Missy being short for Mistress being the female equivalent of Master) or the Rani (because it's always the Rani), though both of these seem too easy to be true. Whatever the truth, she apparently believes The Doctor to be her boyfriend, we can be sure to see her again before the two-part finale, and Michelle Gomez completely owns the role in the precious little time we see her for. She also appears to be the one who gave Clara The Doctor's number in her first episode, and also took out the newspaper advert that got them back together in this episode, so she clearly wants the two of them to be together. For good or for bad, though? That's the real question. My bit of speculation? That strange 'crunch' noise she does before she starts twirling like an insane Mary Poppins has something to do with her storyline, but only the gods (and Moffat) know what.

There were two more moments that are important to the character of this new Doctor personally, but that aren't going to affect the overall plot in the same way (or so we're led to believe). The first is the reason why The Doctor looks as he does. It's pretty much confirmed here that Time Lords choose the face they wear based on past experience, with The Doctor speculating that he chose this face to send a message to himself (though he doesn't know why and can't remember who the face belonged to). Mr Moffat has already said, however, that this is just a minor thing so though I'd like a full explanation, don't expect it to affect the story too much. The second moment is the ambiguous nature of whether the Half-Face man committed suicide or was pushed by The Doctor, but to be honest I don't think it really matters as to the answer. We know that The Doctor will do whatever it takes to save the innocent (barring genocide for a second/first time (depending on how you look at it), based on the Ninth Doctor's reaction to the idea at the end of Series 1), so it's not that big of a deal if he did push the droid, though the idea he could have does serve to give the impression of a 'darker' Doctor.

Overall, I can say two things with certainty; one, Peter Capaldi already owns the role of The Doctor and we're very safe in his hands, and two, I'm more excited than ever to see what's coming next. It's going to be different than Matt Smith's era but that's what we need. We need a break from what we had before, in the hands of one of Britain's best actors, and with one of Britain's best showrunners still at the helm. Whatever happens this season, it's going to be one hell of a ride.

8/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2 Overview

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2 Overview

Well, that's Series 2 done and dusted. Well, apart from the Christmas special, but I'm keeping that separated. We've seen the introduction of David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor, and the departure of Billie Piper as Rose Tyler. Torchwood has made it's presence known, the Cybermen have returned in an alternate-universe format, and there's been some phenomenal moments that have gone down in Who-lore. There's been a couple of moments that belong on the same level of disdain as the entirety of Phone Shop, but we'll see these are the exceptions that prove the rule of 'Doctor Who is freakin' brilliant'.

Let's recap all the episodes to start with:

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 1 – New Earth
It's not the greatest episode, but there's a strong moral conundrum to debate, and Tennant and Piper are playing off each other wonderfully, with great performances as Cassandra in turn.

7/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2 Episode 2 - Tooth and Claw

Some very funny moments a decent amount of tension, but there’s nothing to elevate it beyond a ‘monster of the week’ feel. If you had to avoid watching an episode this season, this would be a strong candidate.

6/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 3 - School Reunion

A fun episode featuring the return of former companion Sarah Jane Smith and robot dog K9, with strong performances from all the main characters. It's not exceptional, but it's damn good.

8/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 4 - The Girl in the Fireplace

One of the best episodes of New-Who, and an absolute emotional powerhouse. Stunning performances all round, and as memorable a final ten-minutes as you could ever hope to see. Absolutely breathtaking.

10/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 5 - Rise of the Cybermen

Whilst there's a sense of danger with the Cybermen, and the conundrum of whether parallel-universe versions of your loved ones should be sought out is well displayed, there's just something missing from this episode that means it could easily be skipped without any difficulty.

6/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 6 - The Age of Steel

It’s a strong end to a two-parter, though it’s not quite up there with new-Who’s strongest multi-episode arcs. A great episode for Mickey fans, with strong emotional and moral punches that should leave you with a few tears by the end.

8/10

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 7 – The Idiot’s Lantern

Nothing spectacular, but nothing too shabby either. Just a fairly run-of-the-mill episode at the end of the day.

7/10

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 8 – The Impossible Planet

A solid episode that leads in nicely to the second part, but without a lot of the warmth and humour that has made new-Who so special for me.

7/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 9 - The Satan Pit

An improvement on part one, with a particularly strong performance from David Tennant as he destroys the Beast to save Rose and the crew. 

8/10

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 10 – Love & Monsters

Whilst children might find this brilliant, anyone else will likely find this to be the worst episode of Doctor Who ever created. The comedy isn’t funny, the characters aren’t likeable, and the villain just doesn’t work. Besides one genuinely hilarious scene involving Jackie Tyler (though when isn’t there a genuinely hilarious scene involving Jackie Tyler?), I can’t find a single thing to recommend about it.
1/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 11 - Fear Her
I really don't think it's as bad as people make out, and children will certainly enjoy it more than adults, though adults should enjoy some hilarious parts of the script. Overall though, it's just 'alright', nothing better
6/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 12 - Army of Ghosts

A fantastic episode, full of mystery and drama, as well as a good dollop of comedy thanks to the excellent writing. A brilliant cliffhanger to leave us eagerly awaiting the finale.

10/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 13 - Doomsday
Though the episode itself is a little flawed, the ending is perhaps the greatest since new-Who began. It's the most heart-breaking, tear-jerking finish to a season, even more so than Series 4, and I'm still feeling the effects half a day later (well, nearly 7 YEARS later from when I first saw it). Fantastic end to the season, and a very fond farewell to Rose, Mickey and Jackie.

9/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Christmas Special - The Runaway Bride
An excellent Christmas episode, and possibly the best that I've seen if you discount the Tennant leaving specials. It's hilarious throughout, and Catherine Tate is fantastic as Donna. Let down only by the villain being beyond annoying, fake looking, and frankly rather rubbish.

9/10

Overall rating for this series (just to make it fun):
7.3

The Best Bits:
David Tennant
Widely hailed as the greatest Doctor of all time, David Tennant is memorable straight from the beginning. Whilst this might not be the strongest season overall of new-Who, it's clear that he is often the best thing in any given episode. Everything, from his mannerisms to the way he delivers certain lines ('I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry' etc.) is now iconic, and it's easy to see why people love him so much. I certainly do. I'm much more au fait with the 'new' Doctors than the classic, but there's something about Tennant's performance that is elevated above all the rest, even Matt Smith who does such a fantastic job as the Eleventh Doctor. It's not that Tennant is more jovial than Eccleston, nor less grumpy (two of the most recognisable aspects of Eccleston's portrayal); he's just so different with them. I'm loving seeing him back from the beginning again, and delighted that I've got another 2.5 series to go.


The Doctor in Love
The Girl in the Fireplace is one of the best episodes of all time, hands down. The Doctor and Reinette's tragic love story can never be completed, and you won't get many moments more tear jerking than the one where he realises that he has been away for years and she has died in the meantime. Her letter to him makes my heart bleed everytime, and I doubt there's been a more tragic tale weaved on the big screen (partly because I don't watch romances, and partly because if you try to count Romeo & Juliet as a tragic love story than I think you're deluded).


But even this pales in comparison to the final moments of Doomsday, with Rose telling The Doctor on the beach that she loves him, and he unable to say the words in return before he vanishes. Honestly, I'm welling up now just remembering it. I understand that a lot of fans don't like the idea of The Doctor and his companion in love, though personally it doesn't bother me, but I find it hard to believe that anyone can't shed a tear when they see each of them separated by the wall, the realisation of what's happened sinking in. The Doctor's tears as he stands alone in the TARDIS after the beach scene sum up his heart at this point; utterly broken.


The Humour
Seriously, how does Doctor Who not get more credit for its comedy? It's killingly funny at times. Love & Monsters might be a disaster in literally every other sense of the word, but the scene where Jackie Tyler tries to seduce Marc Warren's character and repeatedly splashes him with wine is the series' funniest ever moment for me. Time and again I find myself guffawing at what has happened, more so than most comedy shows out at the moment. Sometimes it's just a simple look (The Doctor giving Donna a quick scan when someone suggests she's a transvestite), other times it's a quick line (INSERT LINE), but there isn't a single episode that doesn't have at least one laugh out loud moment.

The Worst Bits:

Love & Monsters (episode)

You'll be hard picked to find a worse episode in the whole of new-Who, full of stupid and unfunny moments, and a monster that just doesn't work well on screen (hard as it is to say about one designed by a 9-year old for a Blue Peter competition). It's clearly designed to be funny for children, but I refuse to subscribe to the notion that Doctor Who is 'actually a children's show', as it's so much more than that. There's nothing wrong with appealing to children, and if children in general loved it then brilliant, but that doesn't stop me hating it with a passion. Doctor-lite episodes can be brilliant (Blink, Turn Left), but this is shockingly bad. The only, and I mean only, plus to it (as discussed above) is the absolutely hilarious scene where Jackie Tyler tries to put the moves on Marc Warren's character (I've genuinely forgotten it). Otherwise it's a complete and utter mess, and shouldn't be watched by anyone, ever (except the aforementioned scene).


Overtly 'Childish' Episodes
It will be a debate for the ages on whether or not Doctor Who is a children's show or one equally for adults. It's not a bad thing to be a child's show in the slightest; we all have fond memories of our favourite childhood television. Personally, just like the Harry Potter books I think that the show has grown into more than just a children's show. The fervour with which it is revered by its adult fans and the darkness of some of its storylines (not the complexity exactly; children aren't stupid and a difficult storyline doesn't make it an adult show) clearly show that a large part of its intended audience are grown ups.


What I do have a problem with, however, is dumbing down an episode to make it more for children and alienating the adults, who I imagine will actually represent a bigger majority. Episodes like Love & Monsters are just appalling television, with humour and storylines that no adult is likely to enjoy, whilst Fear Her contains similar traits though executed much better. There's a reason why Doctor Who works so well for both adults and children, and that's because there's enough for them each to enjoy with plenty of crossover. Focusing on one at the expense of the other just doesn't work (though I'm betting people could find plenty of examples that would make me a hypocrite when it alienates children by making the show more adult).


The Racnoss
The only bad part of an otherwise excellent Christmas special, the Empress of the Racnoss just doesn't work for me. Even on a limited budget the effects, costume and make up teams can do incredibly realistic aliens, but this isn't one of them. She appears to just be wobbling like a drunk on high stillettos the entire time, and the raspy random shouts are just plain annoying. Not a winning alien in my book.


Overall
David Tennant's first season, and new-Who's second, is full of stand-out moments and episodes. The Girl in the Fireplace and the two-part finale are two of Who's most celebrated episodes, both full of heartbreak and tragedy, and elsewhere there are plenty of moments to make you loud out loud. I ranked Series 1 8.4 on average, and this gets 7.3, so clearly I'm not quite as enamoured with it as last year, but that's not to say it doesn't have a lot of classic moments. Before starting the revisiting process, I think I would probably have placed Series 2 at the bottom of the rankings anyway, so perhaps it's correct that it's ended up with a lower score. Like with all Who, it's still essential watching, with moments like Rose's departure being amongst the most important in the series to date. It's time to move on to Martha Jones now, and enjoy ourselves as we revisit the numerous times where The Doctor clearly enjoyed having a different companion to Rose, not once comparing the two of them and...


Oh, right. I'm starting to remember...

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Christmas Special - The Runaway Bride

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Christmas Special - The Runaway Bride

It's Catherine TateDonna's wedding day. All's going to plan, until she starts to glow all golden with sparkly bits, and gets whisked away into the TARDIS. Shocks The Doctor a bit.


Cue title sequence...


Donna is confused, The Doctor is confused, I'll admit the reasons behind her appearance in the TARDIS have got me a little perplexed. As Donna shouts a bit, The Doctor explains about the TARDIS and space and stuff, though he still can't explain her appearance here. He tries to get her back to the church. At the venue, the guests are trying to figure out what's happened to her. The Doctor isn't having much luck getting her there though, and she tries to run when she realises the whole bigger-on-the-inside thing. The Doctor isn't doing a very good job of reassuring her or calming her down, as she tries to hail a taxi to get to the church. They can't get through on the phone either, as The Doctor nips to a cash point to get some money out, though he looks more like he needs to pee. As he heads back to Donna though,, he notices some brass band players with Santa outfits and strange masks, that look strange. They freak me out a little bit, I'll be honest. The one driving a taxi that takes Donna away freaks out The Doctor a bit, too. He forces the cash machine to give people free money as a distraction, legging it back to the TARDIS.


This taxi driver isn't paying much attention as Donna shouts about them driving the wrong way. Then she knocks his mask off and realises, 'Oh, robots now. Then the TARDIS appears, flying alongside the taxi, and The Doctor eventually manages to convince her to jump across the motorway to him. Finally safe, they sit on a rooftop as he broods about Rose, and she about her missed wedding. They also debate what the robots, space scavengers, want with Donna. Well, it's time to get her to the wedding reception anyway, and back to the man who loves her, and-oh I wouldn't want to be in his shoes right now, as she catches him happily dancing with her arch nemesis, Nerys. Still, she brings out the waterworks, and next thing we know she's enjoying the party anyway.


The Doctor takes the time to look up her employer, H C Clements, because they're a security firm and therefore a bit dodgy. Turns out it's owned by Torchwood. The wedding videographer's tape also reveals that Donna was surrounded by Huon particles, an energy that doesn't exist anymore, and it also can't be hidden by a bio damper which The Doctor had used to try and hide Donna from the scary Santas. The nasty robots show up on cue, and then try killing people with Christmas trees (the baubles are bombs, and one guy does a spectaculr leap over a table into the cake). The Doctor uses the sound system to magnify his sonic screwdriver and destroy them. He finds a remote control inside one of the heads, meaning that someone is directing them, so he heads out to search for the controller, learning that it's in the sky. Appears to be a raspy-voiced giant spider in need of a throat sweet, in a star-shaped ship.


Heading to H C Clements, The Doctor theorises that when Torchwood was destroyed someone else came in and took over operations at the firm. Someone naughty. They head down to the secret floor of the lower basement to investigate, which excites the spider in her spaceship. Turns out they're in part of the Thames Flood Barrier. Whoever took over the ownership of H C Clements has been using the power of the river to manufacture Huon particles in liquid form, and then saturating them using Donna's body. Though as the Time Lords got rid of the particles in the first place because they were deadly, Donna's feeling a bit worried.


They get interrupted by raspy-spider-lady shouting at them, Lance disappearing in fright. A large hole revealed behind them, raspy-spider-lady has been drilling to the centre of the Earth, before teleporting down in front of them. It's the Empress of the Racnoss, the last of her kind, and she ate Mr H C Clements. As Donna argues with the Empress, Lance turns out to not have been scared, but actually trying to save the day with the axe! Oh, Lance is our hero! He's-oh no, he's a dick who was working for the Empress all along. He'd been putting the liquid Huon particles into her daily coffee. What an utter dick! True, he names every single thing that would drive me nuts about living with Donna, but he's still a dick. The robots guarding the Empress draw their weapons on The Doctor, who does his patented babble-at-a-hundred-miles-an-hour tactic to buy some time, bringing the TARDIS and safety to them. Not so good for Lance though; if she can't have Donna, the Empress plans to make him the new key.


As Donna mourns her romance, The Doctor takes them back to the creation of the Earth. He's looking for the first rock to draw others to it to create the planet, and it turns out it's a Racnoss ship. They're dragged back to the present before they can observe it much, managing to diver the TARDIS to a corridor away from the room with the Empress, who has been getting all raspy with Lance. Donna gets kidnapped as The Doctor explains her role as the key, reactivating particles that the Time Lords deactivated. The Empress starts the process, purging Donna and Lance of the particles, and starting the extraction of the Racnoss ship and her children from the Earth's core, sending Lance down to them as their first meal.


Above the skies of London, the Racnoss ship appears, delighting everyone with it Christmasness, until it starts firing lightning at everyone. One child even screams as a piece of lightning moves SO SLOWLY IT'S ALMOST STANDING STILL towards her, in a move of stupidity worthy of a place on the crew of the Prometheus. The Doctor releases Donna from her web-prison, allowing her to swing out of the way, and then he offers the Empress one last chance to surrender, and allow him to help her and her children find their own planet. She's all like, 'no way dude, listen to me rasp and quiver with fearrrrrrrrrrrrr', but The Doctor uses the remote control he nicked to turn the robots off, and then throws Christmas tree bombs around the building, flooding it and drowning the children in the drill hole. Donna has to remind him that he's being a bit genocidal and scary, and that he can stop flooding things now. They escape as the Empress teleports to her ship, threatening the Earth. The army then blow up the ship, proving once and for all that the British Army would counter the Empire in Star Wars, as they can actual hit things unlike Stormtroopers. Also, the Thames has been drained, but that should just alleviate the worry of flooding for a while.


Huon particles all gone, The Doctor returns Donna home. He offers her the chance to travel with him, but she turns it down. Must be a first! Ah well, he'll find someone soon that he can travel with and complain about missing Rose to all the time. They bid each other farewell, and we preprare for Series 3.


Overall, this is a vastly improved Christmas special. It's absolutely hilarious, and right from the start I think Donna is brilliant. I know that Catherine Tate is very polarising. I'll admit that I'm not a fan at all of The Catherine Tate Show, and I think it's her 'forceful' performance at times that can put people off, but I love her as Donna. She's the perfect replacement for Jackie Tyler in many ways, and her delivery of her funniest lines is spot on. When she first arrives in the TARDIS, for example, when asked why she's dressed in a wedding gown, her reply of, 'I'm going tenpin bowling(!)...why do you think, dumbo?!'. It would be too difficult to write down every time she says something in that style that makes me laugh, because it's essentially her entire demeanour throughout the episode, but I love it. As far as I remember, this changes somewhat in Series 4 as her character grows, but those moments are still there (You want, to 'mate' is her greatest line)...Just like Jackie complaining about all manner of things is 'so Jackie', Donna's reversing of the truth about her engagement is 'so Donna'. And I love those 'so Donna' moments. Especially the bit where everyone starts asking her where she was at the reception, and she starts crying (winking to The Doctor as she does so), and everyone applauds her. It's no surprise that she was brought back as a companion; the interplay between them is brilliant.

I'll not beat about the bush; I think the Racnoss is rubbish. It looks like someone plonked in an oversized costume struggling to walk as one would in 10-inch stilettos, and has the most annoying raspy-voice and roar since the child in Fear Her. But that's basically the only criticism I can level at this episode. The bad guy has to be a major part of what mark you award an episode, sure, but if that's the only fault then it's got to be pretty good.

One of my favourite funny moments is the following:
Donna: (shocked) You had the reception without me!
Lance: Donna! What happened to you?
Donna: (more angry) You had the reception without me?!
Everyone looks guilty
Donna: (turning to The Doctor) They had the reception without me!
The Doctor: Yes, I gathered...

There's a real hidden gem of a joke that might easily get overlooked, but as Donna and The Doctor try to hail a taxi, as people are shouting things to her, she complains that people think she's in drag. The Doctor gives her a slow look up and down here as if he's wondering whether they're right, and it's brilliantly funny. It's over very quickly, without Donna commenting, so it'd be easy to forget it but I think it's one of the funniest parts of the episode.


The Doctor mentions the Battle of Canary Warf where the Cybermen invaded, and Donna is oblivious, saying that she was in Spain. He points out that they had Cybermen too, and Donna looks at him like he's stupid, as she was scuba diving. I really cannot emphasise just how much I love Donna when she's like this; she and The Doctor just work brilliantly together.

Something that Donna hits on that sums The Doctor up perfectly is when she says to him that he needs a companion so that there's someone to stop him. When he destroys the Racnoss children, Donna has to pull him back from the dangerous stare he gives as he watches everything crumble around him, and it's a terrifying (well, you know what I mean) reminder of the power that The Doctor holds. He gave the Empress a choice, then he did the only thing he could to save nearly 7 million people on Earth; kill a bunch of technically innocent children. That dangerous scare is a mix of guilt and anger, and we'll see it again most prominently in The Waters of Mars.

Excellent nod to Harold Saxon in Series 3 when the army are told he has given them permission to destroy the Racnoss ship. Doctor Who sure knows how to foreshadow things.

We know that The Doctor has a massive ego, not-so-secretly hidden at that, but I love it when little gems like, 'I don't understood it, and I understand everything' come up.

Oh, the final moments of Doomsday are still weighing heavily on his heart. Though Donna finding Rose's top is funny with the way she accuses him of having abducted lots of women before her, his expression as he tells her that it belongs to his friend is emotionally fraught. The anger behind his eyes when Donna asks him how Rose was lost is enough to silence her (no easy task), and it's perhaps the most murderous look we've ever seen him give. Later on, there's a little bit of healing for him as Donna asks whether Rose trusted him before he lost her, to which he repliest that she did, and she's very much alive because of it.

As The Doctor destroys the robots at the wedding party, the first hints that I've heard of The Doctor Forever theme play slowly. It's my favourite theme of all, and it gives me goosepimples hearing it now.

The re-use of corridors has always been a staple part of BBC filming, but I swear the corridor of the lower basement is the same that we saw at the Torchwood Institute in the Series 2 finale, and in Series 1's Dalek. It's a nice thing to see though, strangely. Comforting in a way.

Harold Saxon Mentions
The army are told that saxon has given orders to destroy the Racnoss ship.

Overall
An excellent Christmas episode, and possibly the best that I've seen if you discount the Tennant leaving specials. It's hilarious throughout, and Catherine Tate is fantastic as Donna. Let down only by the villain being beyond annoying, fake looking, and frankly rather rubbish.
9/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 11 - Fear Her

It’s the Olympics! We’re back in 2012! Though people outside are excited, someone is watching out of their window, and an old lady knows something is up. Oh, now she’s going crazy. Though with the music, and the way the child looking out of the window at her is singing (children singing is ALWAYS scary in television), she’s probably less crazy than she currently looks. The child starts to scribble something on paper, as crazy lady starts shouting at some children to go indoors, but suddenly one of the children disappears. As the mother of the drawing child looks like she knows something is up, we see the picture that she has been drawing – it looks rather similar to the child who has just disappeared, and the picture is moving, growing bigger and opening its mouth in a scream…

Cue title sequence…

The TARDIS materialises between two large skips (initially the wrong way round so its door is blocked…). As The Doctor walks off talking to himself, Rose notices a number of missing children posters. He notes that it’s colder than usual, and then runs off to investigate the garden where the last child disappeared from. A passing car breaks down, the fifth today in that same place apparently, and as soon as it gets past a certain spot it comes back to life. The Doctor is giggling at his hand, which disturbs the father of the missing child, though he uses psychic paper to convince him that he’s a policeman. The old lady wades in, telling them that strange forces are at work. Everyone starts arguing, until The Doctor shushes them by using the authority of a teacher, with the old ‘fingers on lips’ technique. Whilst the old lady pleads for help, Rose notices the drawing child looking down at them from her window.

The Doctor uses his best sniffing techniques to detect traces of metal in all the locations a child disappeared. Drawing child spots a cat – gods, she’s got a quick drawing technique. Her name is Chloe. She denies drawing the boy she drew, Dale, looking sad, and says he made himself like that, and the cat will be a friend. Her mum tries to engage her, but with little success. In the end, Chloe threatens to draw her mum just to shut her up. Now THAT’S a burn moment if ever I heard one! Outside, Rose has been stroking the cat, but it disappears after entering a box, leaving behind a very strong metal scent. Takes a MASSIVE amount of power, apparently.

Chloe is talking to the pictures on her wall, annoyed that they aren’t alone but she is, and that they don’t know what it’s like to be alone. Rose, meanwhile, is hearing banging coming from a garage. LOUD banging. When she opens the door, some angry looking ball of what appears to be electrical cable, or elastic bands, but is actually graphite attacks her – it’s the pencil scribble that Chloe has just drawn. Rose guesses it could be the creepy girl at the window, so they pop along for a visit. They talk their way into the house, assuring Chloe’s mum, Trish, that they can help her.

Rose sneaks off, pretending to go to the loo, but really to see Chloe before her mum can ‘check on her first’. She hides in the airing cupboard when Chloe runs out, and then she sneaks into the room. After knocking some pencils over, the picture of Dale has changed to show an angry expression. In the kitchen, The Doctor talks to Chloe, who says she’s busy making something. She tells him how the pictures don’t stop moaning, and that she can do something that means ‘we can be together,’ which I can only presume at this point is something to do with her dead dad. In Chloe’s room, Rose hears noises coming from the cupboard, and when she pushes the clothes aside she sees what appears to be a demon drawn on the wall, which growls ‘I’m coming’ at her. It’s a pretty badass drawing really. I appreciate art.

The Doctor is still trying to get answers from Chloe, when Rose screams for him from upstairs. The Doctor shuts the closet door as Rose appears to be in a trance, moving slowly towards the drawing. Apparently Chloe drew him yesterday, as she needs to be together with him. Trish begins to panic, trying to get rid of The Doctor and Rose, but The Doctor does his talking quickly thing to keep on her good side. The explanation has something to do with ‘ionic energy’, and Chloe is holding the victims in an ionic holding pen.

They all go up to Chloe’s room. Using a Vulcan Mind Meld (no, I’m not joking), they speak to the entity inhabiting her body. It refuses to give up Chloe, saying it just wants its friends, as it’s alone. It’s an Isolus, an empathic race who require the empathic link between itself and its four billion siblings to stay alive. They play with each other whilst travelling through the stars, creating imaginary words, and feeding off the love this generates with each other. This Isolus accidentally fell to Earth following a solar flare. The Isolus starts to get agitated, waking the demon in Chloe’s closet, and Trish has to sing to her to get her to calm down.

The Doctor and Rose head off to build something to find the crashed Isolus pod, so they can help return it to its family, but it follows them. It/Chloe draws The Doctor and the TARDIS, causing them both to vanish. Rose goes sick at the Isolus, who wants to be left alone with Chloe, before realising that the pod would have sought the hottest point on the street, which would have been a freshly laid tarmac patch. She takes a pickaxe to a piece laid six days ago, and uncovers a very small Isolus spaceship. Returning to the house, she is too late to stop the Isolus making the crowds at the Olympic venues disappear. Huw Edwards is bloody confused by it all. In reality, it is trying to collect four billion people in its imaginary world through its pictures, to replace its four billion lost siblings. Rose and Trish confront the Isolus, but it has started drawing the Earth, and threatens to unleash the demon in the closet if they stop it, because it thinks its spaceship is dead. Rose tries to argue that a heat source will charge it up again, before The Doctor’s picture changes to point to the Olympic Torch. Racing outside, Rose heads to the Olympic Torch parade, which just so happens to be taking place on the same estate. The pod begins to wake up, as Rose throws it close enough to the Torch to charge it up again. The Isolus departs, as Chloe is returned to her mum, along with all the other missing children and Olympic spectators.

Of course, all the drawings coming back to life means the demon in the closet will too...It locks all the doors of the house before Rose can get back into the house. She tells Chloe that her fear gives it energy, and by singing she will destroy it, which she does. Presumably through ‘love’, not the terror of their singing. Or possibly because she’s now calm. Something like that.

On the TV, the Torch bearer collapses, and so The Doctor takes over and carries it to its final destination at the Olympic Stadium. The Isolus pod, now fully recharged heads off back to the stars. Rose and The Doctor are reunited, and all is well with the world. Except that The Doctor can tell something is in the air.

A storm is approaching.

Following on from one of the most unpopular new-Who episodes comes another of the most unpopular new-Who episodes. Now, this is far from my favourite episode, but I think some of the criticism is a little unjust. There's some very funny moments, an alien with a good mystery and deserving of a lot of sympathy (it's a lost child for crying out loud), and strong performances from all of the cast. However, it's well known that this episode was targeted at children, so there are bound to be plenty of reasons adults aren't so taken with it. To be honest, it's far simpler to outline all the negatives in this case than the positives, as beyond the pros mentioned above I kind of feel it just sort of fits into the 'yeah, it's alright' category. It is, however, miles better than Love & Monsters.

The whole episode hinges on one or two overly-convenient factors, in truth. In addition to the one above, the fact that the Olympic Torch happens to be passing by at the exact right second is just too much of a stretch. A general fire wouldn’t do, because the Torch is ‘a symbol of love’. I know that there needs to be a willing suspension of disbelief (I’m normally more than happy to have one), but there have been plenty of other episodes that don’t hang on such a huge coincidence (pretty much all of them, really). I’m not sure of the reasons why people seem to dislike this episode in general, but for me it’s these plot resolutions mentioned above that seriously drag it down. Until you realise that the Isolus pod is still in the torch, it also seems stupid that The Doctor would carry the Torch on its final leg, but at least there’s a sort of reason behind that. Still not a fan of it though.


Hmm, it’s a bit of a leap for Rose to go from scribble, to child’s drawing (fairly, because children scribble things out) to creepy Chloe at the window. Yeah, it’s logical to us because we’ve been watching her draw, but Rose and The Doctor have absolutely zero knowledge of this. Just seems too big a leap to me. Am I being unfair? The Doctor’s impressed with her deducting, but…


Destroying the demon by ‘calming’ Chloe? Or is it by giving her love? Even with the singing, she still looks pretty terrified to me. I know that’s one of the plot points, that calming her stops the demon, but it’s a bit shoddy to finish with.


So what does it do well? Really, it's the humour behind the script that mostly stands out. 'Shayne Ward’s Greatest Hits’? Oh, Doctor Who, how you jest! Weird how quickly some jokes go out of date…but it’s a funny one all the same! ‘Look at the hairs on the back of my manly hairy hand.’ Good one Doctor, good one. This is my type of description!

The Doctor: Hello! I’m The Doctor and this is Rose. Can we see your daughter?

Chloe’s Mum: No, you can’t.

The Doctor: OK, bye!

Wonderful use of near-reverse psychology

I love when the council worker berates Rose for digging up a council road, using a council axe, stolen from a council van, after talking about the special council tarmac recipe...I work for a council and I don’t think our tarmac fitters are this strange, but I’d love to find out!


Sometimes, it’s not just one line but lots together that make you appreciate just how good the scripts are in Doctor Who. The Doctor calling his ‘police assistant' (Rose) Lewis, the manly hands line, The Doctor thinking Rose is calling him beautiful when she means the cat, needing to locate the source of whatever is ‘stealing children and…fluffy…animals’…it’s all brilliant. Even if this isn’t the greatest episode, the dialogue is still top notch. That’s why Love & Monsters hurts so much, really. It should be at least fun to watch just from the script, and it isn’t.

It’s completely random, but at one point The Doctor takes the lid off a jar of jam and starts eating it with his fingers. Rose coughs and shakes her head as Trish looks disapprovingly at him, and he sheepishly puts the jar back down. It’s very funny and very out of the blue, especially at such a serious part of the story, yet it’s just another simple reminder that The Doctor really is an alien.

In a wonderful Star Trek reference, The Doctor initially greets Chloe using the Vulcan ‘live long and prosper’ hand greeting. To show that she is willing to talk to him about what’s going on, she later uses the same greeting to him. He then performs what is clearly a Vulcan Mind Meld. Not subtle at all, but great to see.

The Doctor shushing everyone with ‘fingers on lips!’ is eye-wateringly funny when it happens. Already the attempts at humour are far better than in Love & Monsters (barring the wonderful Jackie Tyler, of course).


The overall reason behind the ‘evil’ taking place is tragic. The alien being a child, lost and in need of its family, finding Chloe because they are both lonely and just wanting to be loved...it’s nice to have a villain that isn’t wholly evil. Rose says she thinks that it’s just having a temper tantrum and shouldn’t have too much sympathy, but I’m on the side of The Doctor. I’m an attachment parenting person, and I don’t do controlled crying.

The actress playing Chloe does a fine job (not something you can always say, though thankfully in Who they tend to pick children who can act well), but the moments where she has to put on a breathy whisper to signify the demon inhabiting her are so annoying that I can’t remember anything else except this from the first time I saw this episode. Luckily, I’ve found a lot more to appreciate this time round, but I still find these moments ridiculously grating. It’s not the actresses fault at all; how can you make someone’s breathy whisper less annoying, when EVERYONE’S breathy whispers annoy you?

The piece of music that plays when The Doctor performs his Vulcan Mind Meld on Chloe is absolutely breathtaking. So simple, yet so atmospheric, it perfectly conjures the image of a man come to save a little girl. 

Torchwood Mentions
None that I can recall


Overall
I really don't think it's as bad as people make out, and children will certainly enjoy it more than adults, though adults should enjoy some hilarious parts of the script. Overall though, it's just 'alright', nothing better.
6/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 13 - Doomsday

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 13 - Doomsday

Gods, I'm nearly in tears already, knowing what's coming and all...

Last time, Cybermen from Pete's World had invaded, and Daleks were coming out of a sphere...and Mickey was back...and Rose told us that this was the *sniff* story of how *sob* she died...

The Daleks advance on Rose, Mickey and the scientist, but Rose casts 'shout their name at them' and it lands a high enough d20 roll to convince them to leave the humans alive. After all, at this point how could a human know about Daleks and the Time War? Anyhow, the Daleks seem more fussed about protecting 'The Genesis Ark' at all costs. Higher up in the building, Jackie is panicking, whilst The Doctor promises that he will save them all. The Cybermen broadcast to the world to tell them that they're going to assimilate everyone. The army do a frankly rubbish job of trying to stop them, and fires are breaking out everywhere, which is a pretty cool image really. 

The Daleks want the least important of Rose, Mickey and the scientist to come forward, so obviously the scientist volunteers, having his brainwaves painfully extracted through the fabled 'head squash via Dalek-plunger' finishing move. They learn of the presence of the Cybermen, and they have a brilliant stand off where each refuses to identify first. The Doctor, meanwhile, watches this on a monitor looking slightly troubled. The Cybermen propose an alliance to upgrade the universe, but the Daleks give them the finger and kill their two scouts. They also spot The Doctor in the background of a video feed.The rest of the Cybermen start to prepare the Torchwood employees (and Jackie) for assimilation, with Yvonne protesting that she did her duty for Queen and country before she died. 

In the control room again, a group of people from Pete's World (including Jake from those episodes) suddenly appear, taking out the Cybermen, which allows Jackie to escape a few floors below as the Cybermen need to designate a new leader. The Doctor says that Pete's World shouldn't have the sort of technology that can transport across parallel worlds, but Jake says their version of Torchwood developed it, and uses the tech to take The Doctor across to his world. He meets Pete, who tells him it's time to listen for once.

Rose and Mickey wonder what's going on, and why Mickey is being kept alive. Rose speculates that the Daleks need the background radiation that time-travellers pick up on their journeys, to wake up a part of them as happened in Dalek, but the Daleks reveal that the Genesis Ark is of Time lord design. They believe that Rose's handprint will open the Ark up, 

On Pete's World, Pete explains that the Cybermen were locked up in the factories, but protesters argued that they were living beings and so set them free. They then jumped across the Void and so the moral of the story is, protesters are arseholes. Pete mentions that global temperatures have risen by two degrees in the last six months, and The Doctor says it's because every journey across the Void onto a parallel world rips the fabric of space apart, and that this is making the planet boil. They want The Doctor to close the breach, but he this would strand 5 million Cybermen on our Earth. He'll need to defeat them and The Daleks before he does that...but he's The Doctor, so go get 'em, champ. Or surrender to the Cybermen back in our world, whatever.

The Daleks are demanding that Rose open the Ark, but she taunts them with the knowledge that she destroyed the Emperor Dalek in Series 1. Just as they decide she should die for that act, The Doctor appears at the door. I'll now point out the 3D glasses that he's been wearing a fair bit during the last episode and this one, as it's probably about time they were mentioned. They turn out to be the Cult of Skaro, a legend that were designed to think as the enemy thinks, different from regular Daleks. When the Daleks tell him 'seriously, shut up and just open the damn Ark', he goes all Tenth Doctor on them, pointing out that his sonic screwdriver might be small but it's excellent at opening doors, blowing open some of them and unleashing a newly formed alliance of Pete's World people and Cybermen. Unforunately, during their escape, Mickey's hand ends up on the Genesis Ark, and starts the opening process.

Jackie finally meets up with them all again after apparently running up and down some stairs for a couple of hours. Bit awkward between Pete and Jackie for a while, but there's love in the air still. Gods, I'm in tears when they finally hug. If you aren't too, then you're DEAD inside. The Cybermen and Daleks are still fighting elsewhere in the building, but the Genesis Ark is still making its way to where the Daleks need it, even with Cybermen reinforcements being order to converge on Torchwood's location. Reaching their destination, the Daleks open the roof and head upwards with the Genesis Ark into the sky. The Ark opens and...well, shit, that's not good. Time Lord science=it's bigger on the inside i.e. the Genesis Ark is a prison ship, and there's millions of Daleks beginning to flood out. Still, epic battle about to commence.

It's time for The Doctor to leap into the action, 3D glasses and all. He's been using the glasses to see 'Void Stuff', or the background radiation, attached to everyone who has travelled through the Void to get to other worlds. All he needs to do is open the Void, and all the Void Stuff will get sucked back through, taking those it's attached to with it. Only one problem - to avoid getting sucked in from this side, everyone needs to head over to Pete's World, and that includes Rose. When the breach closes she'll be trapped there forever. Though she tries to convince Jackie that she will stay here with him, Pete and The Doctor share a knowing look, and manage to sneak a travelling medallion around Rose and Jackie's necks, sending them to Pete's World before they realise what is happening. Rose immediately travels back, telling The Doctor that she picks him over Jackie, and he reluctantly tells her how to help.

Rather randomly, the Yvonne Cyberman has somehow retained her humanity and busts a load of Cybermen. Locking some extremely powerful gravity clamps against the wall, The Doctor and Rose prepare to send everything into the Void, whilst hanging on for dear life. All the Cybermen and Daleks around the world are sucked back to London, and thrown into the Void, except for one Dalek who does an Emergency Temporal Shift the hell out of there. They're all nearly through when one of the levers begins to move, shutting the process down. Rose manages to make her way across to it to get it working again, but the power of the Void starts sucking her in. She desperately tries to hold on, but she slips and heads straight for it. At the last second, Pete appears with a medallion, saving her and taking her back to Pete's World, just before the breach is closed. The Doctor looks on, broken. On Pete's World, Rose pleads to be sent back, but the medallions have stopped working as the breach is closed.

Rose begins to dream that she hears The Doctor's voice, whispering her name. They get into Pete's old jeep, following the voice, leading them to Bad Wolf Bay in Norway. The Doctor appears as a transparent image, burning up a star to send a last message to her across the last tiny gap between worlds. He brings his image more into focus, but she still can't touch him. I want to hug them both, to tell them it'll be alright, but I know it won't be. She;s going to work for Torchwood, Jackie is pregnant, and I don't care because I'm still crying. She tells him that she loves him, confirming everything we already know. You know the rest - he's just about to say it back, when he fades from view, tears running down his face back in the TARDIS. 

Fiddling with the controls, he gets set to head off once more, only to be justifiably shocked to find Catherine Tate in a wedding dress wondering where the bloody hell she is.

Words will never quite do justice to the end of this episode. If you thought that the end of The Girl in the Fireplace was tear-jerker, then you ain't seen nothing yet. The end of Rose's journey is so heart-breaking, I'm still crying writing this now. It gets me every single time, no matter who I watch it with. It's a breathtaking end to the season, particularly as the rest of the episode is nothing more than 'good'. Entertaining, but not spectacular, which is a shame considering it features Cybermen vs Daleks. There's just something about the meeting of the two enemies that falls a little flat. They shoot at each other a lot, but that's it. It's surely just budgetary restrictions meaning the fight scenes of million of Daleks versus millions of Cybermen are so short, but it does mean that I'm left thinking, 'oh, right, yeah' rather than 'OH. MY. GOD.' It's a shame, because it's such a brilliant stand-off when the Daleks and Cybermen first meet each other, each refusing to identify themselves to the other. It's something that fans must have wanted for years (assuming that they haven't actually met before in a classic-Who episode.

When Rose can't hold on to the lever any more and heads straight for the Void, that howl of angst that David Tennant gives out caused the tears to prick my eyes again. Seriously, the whole last fifteen minutes are just one giant blubfest. As soon as that takes place, The Doctor's face is one of utter despair, Rose is smashing her hands against the wall pleading to be taken back, and I can't emphasise just how heart-breaking this all is. For a friendship that we've seen built up over the last two series, seeing it broken apart like this is almost too much. It's these moments that make Doctor Who so utterly brilliant.

David Tennant's face when he realises that Rose is gone, saved at the last second but still gone, is one of the most affecting he will ever give. The shot of The Doctor and Rose with their faces pressed against the wall, mirroring each other's actions as the Doomsday theme plays is one of new-Who's most iconic. The Doctor walks away a broken man, and we're all broken with him. Those tears sum everything up. Seriously, even those who don't like Rose MUST be affected by this.

Another bit that Russell T Davies absolutely nails perfectly is the way The Doctor explains that Rose will have to go to Pete's World and then just gets on with it. While she is looking traumatised, he knows that he can't afford to stop for a second, because if he does he won't be able to go through with it. Even with the ending, this is possibly the strongest showing of his love for Rose, and it's absolutely wonderful.

This is also what we believe to be the last time we'll see Jackie and Mickey. Both have been integral parts of Rose's story in Series 1 and 2, and both have been absolutely fantastic. Jackie is still the funniest character in new-Who; I loved it when The Doctor tried to explain parallel realities to her and she just told him to shut up. Never a dull scene with Jackie in it. Mickey, too has had a great character arc, finally proving himself to be a hero and ending up with Rose (we presume). For a while, at least...

My wife thinks I'm a ludicrously sensitive soul, and it's probably things like the fact I had tears in my eyes when Pete and Jackie saw each other for the first time that give her that impression. Hell, when she says that in twenty years there was never anyone else, and then he says that she did make something of herself after all because she raised Rose, and then they finally hug, I don't see how anyone can't feel a swelling in their heart. Yet people apparently think Twilight has an epic romantic story to it but would ignore Doctor Who. These people are morons.

Special praise needs to go to Murray Gold's 'Doomsday' theme. I can't hear the opening piano and bass without welling up, knowing what scene it comes from. It's so different to all his other pieces of music, and it must be one of his most iconic. He's always superb, but he surpasses himself here.

Ooh, those Daleks are mean. 'You didn't have to kill him!' Rose shouts at them, when they murder the scientist who had been studying the sphere. 'Neither did we need him alive' is their reply. Well, they have a point, but perhaps killing him was a little excessive? A quite retirement would have been fairer. The Daleks give the equivalent of a 'yo momma' comeback, when telling the Cybermen they are better at only one thing - dying. Ooh, you can feel the burn from here!

There's a big bit of Who-lore that influenced a lot of guessing about the 50th Anniversary special, as The Doctor tells the Daleks he was at the Fall of Arcadia. Still waiting to see it on the TV, but if they can persuade John Hurt to come back...

There are a couple more things that bug me, but that are fairly minor quibbles. The first is that when Pete saves Rose at the end, he is able to stand still despite the pull of the Void. Yes, he's only there for a second or two, and the breach is nearly closed, but when the pull of the Void is so great that Cybermen are dragged all the way from India, there's no way he would be able to stand absolutely steady. The second is that I don't really understand the bit where it turns out Yvonne survived the Cyber-assimilation. It's a needless scene, and doesn't make me cheer at all, though I understand it's probably a sign that humanity will win out against evil. It just makes me think, 'well why the hell did that happen?'

Torchwood Mentions
Oh, don't be stupid.

Overall
Though the episode itself is a little flawed, the ending is perhaps the greatest since new-Who began. It's the most heart-breaking, tear-jerking finish to a season, even more so than Series 4, and I'm still feeling the effects half a day later (well, nearly 7 YEARS later from when I first saw it). Fantastic end to the season, and a very fond farewell to Rose, Mickey and Jackie.

9/10

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 12 - Army of Ghosts

Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 12 - Army of Ghosts

Rose narrates a short monologue. Nothing happened for the first 19 years, then she met The Doctor, then they did stuff, and it looked like carrying on forever. But then came Torchwood and the Army of Ghosts. This is the story of how she died.

Cue title sequence.

Rose and The Doctor arrive back in the present. Jackie is pleased to see them, kissing The Doctor for good luck, though she appears to have lost her mind as she thinks her dead father is coming to visit. Just then, a ghost appears, so perhaps she isn’t that mad. Although it sets alarm bells ringing. As Jackie says the ‘shift’ is about to end, we briefly see people at the ‘Torchwood Institute’ (FINALLY!) pulling a lever, shutting down a system. The Doctor flicks through the TV channels, seeing that it’s all over the world, including Eastenders. It’s been going on for about two months, which caused panic to start with, until people got used to it. Though Jackie swears she can smell her father in the ghost, The Doctor says that it’s a psychic link which the ghosts use to make their pull on reality stronger.

At Torchwood, the woman who appears to be in charge exchanges notes with some scientists who are guarding a sphere that technically doesn’t exist, as well as Martha Jones’ cousin (we’ll touch more on that in Series 3).Fake Martha flirts with a colleague, arranging to get a coffee. They head into a restricted area undergoing some work, but it goes a bit tits up when she bumps into a Cyberman.

Assuming the role of Ghostbusters, The Doctor and Rose set up some detecting bits to detect bits. Torchwood power the lever back up, as Fake Martha and Gareth return with extra Bluetooth ear pieces, a-la people in the parallel world. Jackie gets all depressing by telling Rose that if she keeps travelling she won’t be the same in forty-odd years time, which shouldn’t be news to anyone anyway, as everyone changes after forty years. Outside, The Doctor traps a ghost in his field, alerting Torchwood. They catch the TARDIS on camera, and send troops to meet it as it appears at Torchwood. Showing The Doctor and Jackie (pretending to be Rose) around Torchwood, the lady in charge (Yvonne) tells them that anything alien that comes into British airspace is shot down, stripped of its parts, and used for the good of the British Empire. It was created by Queen Victoria, and The Doctor is still an enemy of the state. They take him to the sphere we saw earlier, which The Doctor identifies as a Void Ship, a vessel designed to exist outside time and space, and technically impossible. Turns out that the sphere appeared from nowhere, followed by the ghosts, but when Yvonne says that they want to open it, The Doctor refuses, wanting to send it back to the hell of the Void. Fake Martha, meanwhile, is getting other colleagues assimilated.  Rose exits the TARDIS, donning a lab coat and doing some exploring.

Yvonne takes The Doctor to the...control room, I suppose, where we’ve seen the levers and stuff. The sphere came through here, a gap in the world, and they had to build a skyscraper to reach it. The Doctor warns that any more ghost shifts and the cracks that are present in reality could smash like glass, bringing something unwanted through, but Yvonne simply says they’ll be more careful. In the end, he uses reverse psychology to stop her doing it. For now, anyway.

Below, Rose is exploring still. She uses the psychic paper to get into the sphere room, but some psychic training means that the scientist guy from earlier isn’t fooled. He asks Samuel to call security, who HOLY CRAP THJAT’S MICKEY! WHAT THE BLEEDIN’ BLOODY HELL IS HE DOING HERE?! Rose does remarkably well to hide her surprise, I must say. Yvonne and The Doctor are talking about how the ghosts probably came through with the sphere, when the re-programmed employees start the ghost shift programme again. The building starts shaking, and the sphere becomes active. The Doctor has to sever the psychic connection in the employees, killing them as it did those on Pete’s World, but he needs to find a transmitter to block the signal that’s overriding the systems or something. Downstairs, Mickey tells Rose that they’ll beat them again. And by ‘them’, he means...oh, we’ll have to wait a minute. The Doctor, Yvonne and guards find the source of the transmitter emissions – Cybermen! Our world is colliding with Pete’s World, and shit’s about to get real. Back with Mickey, he tells Rose that the Cybermen disappeared from their world, but Mickey (and presumably some friends) followed. In the control room, the Cybermen complete the ghost shift, revealing that the ghosts are all Cybermen. That causes a bit of panic round the world as you might expect, with people getting sort of killed.

Downstairs, the sphere opens and it’s not Cybermen. It’s...DALEKS! Cybermen vs Daleks! Delete vs Exterminate! Hell yeah!

Shit just got real!

Let’s be very clear about one thing here; the ending is one of the best endings to a Who episode you are likely to see. The Cybermen, flawed as they were in the two episodes earlier in the season, make for a chilling bad guy here, but to then have the mysterious sphere revealed to contain Daleks? Gods, that’s exciting stuff! Add to that the reappearance of Mickey, also out of the blue as it’s something we thought impossible, and you’ve got a whole load of twists and surprises that are pulled off brilliantly. I don’t know if the Cybermen, Daleks or Mickey were known to be appearing by the wider public before this aired, but I think the Daleks at least were a complete surprise.

Before all that excitement, the episode does a great job of building the mystery of just who the ghosts are, and what’s in the sphere. Though there are heavy hints about the Cybermen’s presence (outlines in the plastic sheeting, the ear pieces etc.), it’s not 100% clear, and it’s still a mystery how they could have arrived. The fact that they just piggybacked here is a shock, as you just assume that they created the sphere for that specific purpose, until you learn the truth of its origins.

Are there any negatives to the episode? In truth, no they aren’t. This is a brilliant episode from the off, and as well as the mystery and drama, it’s damn hilarious in places. Take The Doctor and Rose’s conversation when they first arrive in Torchwood, for example:

Rose: Doctor, they’ve got guns.

Doctor: And I haven’t, which makes me the better person. They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine.

That’s one of the funniest moments of the series, and a contender for my favourite line of all time. There’s also the moment where The Doctor pretends Jackie is Rose, calls her deluded and she threatens him with a kicking. Add to this The Doctor debuting ‘allonsy’ as he moves the TARDIS following his attempt to trap a ghost, and the very profound and deep moment, when Rose says that the ghosts are definitely human due to their looks, and The Doctor points says, ‘Maybe not. A footprint doesn’t look like a boot’, and it all adds up to a very strong script indeed.

  

Even after all this time, hearing Rose say that this is the story of how she died still brings tears to my eyes, as I know what’s going to happen at the end of the next episode. We’ll deal with that in the next review, of course, but there’s the threat of Rose’s death hanging over the whole episode here, though you’re mostly certain that she isn’t going to die in the first half.

Right from the start, this Torchwood seems incredibly dodgy, unlike Torchwood Three that we’ll get to know in the TV show, Torchwood. That bit has always confused me, but watching it again I suppose that Torchwood Three did exactly the same job of protecting the British Empire from aliens. It’s just that we get to know the characters in Torchwood must better, and none of them are as arrogant and smug as Yvonne (who is played excellently by Tracy-Ann Oberman).

Of all the actors, David Tennant continues to shine the brightest throughout this episode. Billie Piper feels very absent for most of it, though she’ll get her moment next time. It’s great to have Noel Clarke back as Mickey, giving him his chance to shine at last, and it’s always fun having Jackie Tyler along. I’ll miss Camille Coduri come next season, and I’m glad she gets a big part in the finale. Tracy-Ann Oberman is great as Yvonne, and though Freema Agyeman isn’t on screen for long as Adeola Oshodi, she’ll more than make up for it next season.

Torchwood Mentions

Ha. Good one.

Overall

A fantastic episode, full of mystery and drama, as well as a good dollop of comedy thanks to the excellent writing. A brilliant cliffhanger to leave us eagerly awaiting the finale.

10/10

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 10 – Love & Monsters

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 10 – Love & Monsters

Marc Warren runs up a hill, and comes across the TARDIS. There’s some paper rolling across the ground in front of him like tumbleweed, which is symbolic of this episode as a whole. Marc hears The Doctor and Rose shouting and goes to investigate. He opens a door and some beast roars at him. It cuts to him making a Vlog, and he wants to tell us the rest of his story.

Cue title sequence…

The Doctor appears behind the beast, tempting him with meat while Rose throws the wrong colour bucket of water over him. There’s some chasing from one side of some rooms to the other, which was funny in one cartoon when I was three, but now? Seriously? I know this is a kid’s show, but seriously?

Marc does some filming of his home. He’s a great actor, but already this is rubbish. Or is it just that I’ve already seen it and know it’s rubbish? Apparently he saw a disapproving looking Doctor when he was young. Marc’s name is actually Elton. He was there when the Auton’s caused hell in Rose. He saw the space ship crash in World War III (or whatever part 1 of that arc was). He saw the Racknos, he met Jackie Tyler, he did a bunch of things. Actually, this bit isn’t so bad because it’s basically just Marc Warren. Though at the same time, he’s now just dancing and what the hell has that got to do with the plot? Oh, right; ‘filler’. His computer once blew up because the internet was being used a lot (I get that this is supposed to be ‘funny’, but meh). He met Ursula who runs a blog about The Doctor. She’s part of an inner sanctum, studying the Time Lord, and something bad is going to happen to her, something ridiculously stupid. Oh look! It’s Michael from Alan Partridge in their special group! There are other people I recognise, but they aren’t Michael so I won't name them. Also I've already forgotten their names. They call themselves LINDA, which stands for something.

They do readings, group therapy, form a band. Though this is dull as sin, at least Peter Kay hasn’t arrived ye- Oh look, there he is. Believe it or not, the episode goes downhill from here.

Peter Kay is dressed like a pimp, which would probably make for a more exciting episode. They do some talking or something, I don’t know. It’s hard to hear over the sound of my inner-fan dying. ‘Bliss’, which is a stupid name, stays behind to talk to ‘Mr Kennedy’, which is an alter ego of Peter Kay. She screams, so maybe she heard about the plot for this episode.

Mr Kennedy has taken over the group, without any protest, which is stupid. I know these are underground conspiracy-type people, who are likely to straight away cede leadership of a group to someone they've only just met, but this is just stupid.

Gods, what’s happening now? Peter Kay doesn’t like being touched, apparently. I don’t want to know any more about that.

They’re hunting Rose and The Doctor at the moment. Ha, actually it was pretty funny when Marc Warren though it’d take ages to find Rose and a lady pointed out her exact address straight immed-Oh, he’s dancing again. Great. He deliberately bumps into Jackie in a launderette. I do like Jackie. She’s already made this episode eighty-three times better. ‘The Adventures of Jackie Tyler’. That would be awesome. She melts my heart with her smile. Why does she have trouble finding a man? She’s lovely, with beautiful eyes. Quite domineering, but then I quite like that I’m getting off track a bit.

Where was I? Oh yeah, this episode sucks. And written by Russell T Davies! How?! He’s a fantastic writer! I don’t care if his cliffhanger resolutions aren’t always brilliant, he’s one of Who’s greatest assets in the…Russell T Davies era.

There’s a love plot or two going on here. Sweet Marc Warren, not realising that Jackie is deliberately finding jobs to keep him arou-Christ that’s a short skirt, Jackie. Yep, Jackie and her seduction attempts are easily the best thing in this episode. I could watch this all day. Ha, the way she pours the wine all over him! Repeatedly! Seriously, that bit is classic. I mean, don’t sit through all of this episode just for that one bit; just look it up on YouTube.

Jackie then gets morose when Rose rings, but Marc Warren gets pizza. Is this episode meant to show what happens to those left behind? Oh gods, he’s dancing again. STOP DANCING MARC, PLEASE! I WANT MY SCIENCE FICTION DRAMA BACK! Oh, here’s a bit of drama. Jackie discovers Marc just wants The Doctor. And look, she mentioned being left behind! I was right! Woo! I don’t know why I’m celebrating. I think perhaps with this episode, you need to take anything you can.

The group are arguing blah blah blah. Yeah, screw you Kennedy, we’re off for a Chinese takeaway. I’d love a Chinese right now. It’s lunchtime and I’m hungry. I DO have a delicious Beef Wellington that my wife made, so I’ll just have to enjoy that instead. I’ll enjoy it a lot more than the rest of this episode, anyway. Oh, Michael’s about to get done in by Kennedy. Marc and the other one head back inside, to find Kennedy hiding behind a newspaper. They hear Michael calling for help, and find that Kennedy has transformed into something that isn’t Peter Kay. He absorbs his victims, which just comes across as overly strange, both visually and whatever the opposite of visually is. An ‘Abzorbaloff’, so he is named. He absorbs Marc’s girlfriend too. Well, I preferred Jackie, anyway. Peter Kay looks like he’s having a poo, which is just bizarre. Also, the award for ‘Best Stating of the Bleeding Obvious’ goes to his girlfriend, who says, quite seriously, that she can read the Abzorbaloff’s thoughts and that Marc Warren is next. No. Freakin’. Way. Peter Kay is chasing him in his underpants, which is not a sentence I will ever type in a positive way.

Thank the gods, The Doctor is here at last. And Rose is annoyed with Marc for upsetting Jackie. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah absorbing blah blah blah blah Doctor uses reverse psychology blah blah blah blah the absorbed people try to pull Peter Kay apart while Marc destroys his cane, melting him. Then the most ridiculously ridiculous thing of all happens, as the absorbed people become paving stones, and Marc has the strangest relationship with his girlfriend that the world has ever seen.

The Doctor reveals that when Marc saw him years ago, he’d been investigating a beast in the shadows, but he couldn’t stop it killing Marc’s mum. This part is actually really tragic. Like, SERIOUSLY tragic. I get really upset nowadays about that sort of thing. Doesn’t make it a worse episode, but you hope for an ending to cheer you up and well, that ain’t happening.

There’s a quick montage of the group, as Marc talks about people paying the price for knowing The Doctor. It’s also revealed that it’s The Doctor’s fault that Marc’s girlfriend has been turned into a paving stone, as he did some reversal thingy that-OH THANK GOD IT’S FINISHED!

You might have guessed that I’m not a fan of this episode. I know that fans of cult television are prone to going over the top, and I’m fully willing to accept that children will probably really enjoy this episode (and, if I’m honest, it’s clearly just trying to be harmless fun) but I just find it terrible from start to finish. Doctor-lite episodes can be phenomenal (Blink and Turn Left are two of the best episodes ever), but this is appalling. The constant wasting of screentime with Marc Warren dancing? What the hell does that have to do with Doctor Who? It doesn’t make me warm to the character any better. Marc Warren is one of my favourite British actors, and if nothing else he’s very good in the role here, it’s just that the role is terrible.

The only bits that are any good are the bits with Jackie Tyler. It really is genuinely hilarious when she tries to seduce him, particularly where she repeatedly throws wine over him. One of the funniest moments Who has ever produced, in my opinion. There’s also meant to be a genuine attempt to have us think about how life with The Doctor affects those left behind, but we’ve seen that done far better with Mickey. He was with Rose and The Doctor for a large part of the series so far, yet left behind at the same time, and we have every sympathy for him because of it. In this episode I just don’t care. Well, I feel sorry for Jackie and all, but I don’t go away thinking about how awful it is for those left behind. I just wish the episode would hurry up and finish.

Ursula will never age apparently, though she doesn’t see the problem with this. She doesn’t see the problem with spending the rest of eternity as a paving slab, who will see Elton (and any love after it) die. There is literally no way this would not drive someone insane after about five minutes. I know this episode is plainly designed for younger children, but it’s horrific on so many levels (not just it’s quality). Also, Elton and Ursula apparently have a bit of a love life. I really think he gets the better end of the stick there.

Seriously, if you wanted to put someone off Doctor Who for life, this is how to do it. I know this was designed by a child for Blue Peter, and my conscience is racked with guilt for criticising it, but there are so many ways that they could have told a better story. That's the bigger problem than the monster itself. True, I can’t think of any, but there simply must be, because there can’t be anything worse than this. And from Russell The Davies, too! Perhaps it's also the fact that a 9-year old boys idea of a monster isn't necessarily something that is going to work well on screen, in a television story. That's no fault of the child, but a fault of the producers either committing to feature the winner in the episode, or picking a creature that wouldn't translate well. 

Torchwood Mentions

Victor Kennedy notes that the Bad Wolf Virus erased all mention of Rose Tyler from the Torchwood files on The Doctor (nice mention of Bad Wolf there!).

Harold Saxon Mentions

Our first airing of the name Harold Saxon, as a poll mentions him in the newspaper that the Abzorbaloff is reading.

Overall

Whilst children might find this brilliant, anyone else will likely find this to be the worst episode of Doctor Who ever created. The comedy isn’t funny, the characters aren’t likeable, and the villain just doesn’t work. Besides one genuinely hilarious scene involving Jackie Tyler (though when isn’t there a genuinely hilarious scene involving Jackie Tyler?), I can’t find a single thing to recommend about it.

1/10