Five Songs To Lead Your Troops In An Apocalyptic Battle

Five Songs To Lead Your Troops In An Apocalyptic Battle

Let's face it - there's always the possibility that at some point you're going to have to lead an army into an apocalyptic battle, where only victory will save the world and send your alien would-be conquerors back to the pits of hell from whence they came. Now, you may think you have your tactics all nailed down, your equipment and armour ready, and your final goodbyes to your loved ones scheduled to post on your Facebook wall should you not return, but really it's your choice of pre-battle hymn that will give your side the best chance and inspire them to victory. Here's five of the best apocalypse-averting inspirational songs for the uneducated:

Crystal Skull – Mastodon

The song itself has nothing to do with an apocalyptic battle, but just listen to those intro drums. Seriously, has there even been a better drum intro to a song? A more ‘yeahhhhhhhhhhh-let’s-go-fight-to-the-death’ blood-pumper? No, there isn’t. And if you disagree, then I’m going to have to play this again and charge at you. The whole thing just oozes cinematic-battle-brilliance. It’s no wonder they called themselves Mastodon – listening to this is like being trampled by a herd of them.

Battle Metal – Turisas

For starters, it’s in the title – this was written with the whole purpose of celebrating that most manly of quests – immortality through death in battle. Now, I’ve got as much of a warrior spirit in my body as I have the ability to locate a spark plug under a car bonnet, but even I feel infused with the spirit of Odin when this comes on. And I’m including a spark plug with ‘spark plug’ written on it in glow-in-the-dark paint.

Bodies – Drowning Pool

Let’s face it – if you’re going into battle, there are going to be bodies flying everywhere. Why not pump yourself up ready for this eventuality? The refrain is exactly what I’d choose to say if I needed to give a final retort to the enemy before the last battle for Earth began:

Alien Overlord: Surrender, or we shall strike down all of your kind where they stand!

Me: Then let the bodies hit the floor. Nitwit.

Man, that alien overlord just got BURNED.

Raining Blood – Slayer

RAINING BLOOOOOOOOD, from a lacerated sky! Well, if you’re going to try to fight the last battle of all time, you might as well cause the sky to crack in twain and bleed, hadn’t you? Nothing says ‘the end of the world’ like blood from the heavens. Except, perhaps, a fourth series of Phone Shop. I pray nightly that it never happens.

Arch Enemy – We Will Rise

Because there’s nothing like all your troops chanting ‘WE WILL RISE’ in harmony at an army who thinks they’re going to end our way of life. Feel the power coursing through your veins as Angela Gossow spearheads the chant? Yeah, there isn’t any way we’re losing this coming battle.