Revisiting Doctor Who - Series 2, Episode 7 - The Idiot's Lantern

Revisiting Doctor Who – Series 2, Episode 7 – The Idiot’s Lantern

England. Sometime after WWII. Mr Magpie looks over his accounts, needing a miracle, whilst another family read, listen to the radio and freak out their grandchildren about brains melting. A typical evening in a 50s British household in other words. A bolt of red lightning hits the aerial of Mr Magpie’s shop, turning the TV back on, but it’s all rather strange when the lady on the TV starts talking directly to him. Now, are you sitting comfortably? Good! Then we’ll begin…sucking his face into the TV with red lightning, apparently.

Cue title sequence…

The Doctor and Rose are dressed ready for 50s America, to go see Elvis on the Ed Sullivan Show, so they’re a bit disappointed when it turns out to be 1953 London, all set for Elizabeth II’s coronation. The family with the melting brains are enjoying having a TV, though apparently the gran now has an awful face, and is knocking on the floor from upstairs, which I imagine is in no way connected to the face sucking red lightning thing. Turns out that, unlike everywhere else, everyone round here has a TV, as Magpie’s shop sells them for £5 a pop. It’s in old money but still, that’s like…not much.

Suddenly, a man is taken away in a car with a blanket over his head, which Tommy from the originally family says is happening plenty, with everyone turning into monsters. The Doctor and Rose pursue on their scooter, but the supposed police officers have initiated ‘Operation Market Stall’, which involves blocking the road with a market stall, and disappeared behind some big doors, unbeknownst to our heroes.

In his shop, Mr Magpie has finished something electronic, which pleases the television lady. Apparently she’s burning him behind his eyes, which is just plain mean. She’s a bit condescending too. I don’t like her. Too smiley. Never trust someone who smiles that much. It betrays hidden turmoil. Never go up and investigating a strange banging grandmother, either, which is a lesson Tommy should learn when he tries to do just that, before his father can stop him. Rose and The Doctor call on them, taking delight in getting Mr Connolly to do some housework, before Mrs Connolly begs for help with her mother. Piping Mr Connolly’s ego down, The Doctor hears of how people seem to be changing everywhere, before getting taken away by the police. Investigating the grandma, we see that she basically has no face now. It’s like it’s been wiped clean, or a blank canvas. The police/men in black turn up before they can do anything else, punching out The Doctor as they go. He heads off on his scooter to follow them, but Rose has become distracted by red lightning buzzing around the TV, and she sees the name ‘Magpie Electricals’ on the back of it before leaving.

The Doctor realises what’s happening with Operation Market Garden, finding a back way in, and finding a lot of people without faces locked up in a pen together. They react to him by clenching their fists and heading towards him, before a huge spotlight shines on him, and he warned to stay where he is. Meanwhile, in Magpie’s Electricals, Rose questions the owner on why his prices are so low, before the strange TV lady appears crying about being hungry. When Rose tells him that she knows the televisions are behind it, the lady reveals herself as ‘The Wire’, sucking Rose’s face off. Turns out her plan is to feed on the 20 million people watching the coronation.

The Doctor is being questioned by Detective Inspector Bishop, though he points out that the police aren’t really doing much detective inspecting. Turns out that faces being sucked off is a bit beyond what the police normally deal with, so The Doctor offers to lend a hand. He’s a bit downbeat though when the police bring Rose in. Very determined, though. He’s going to kick some ass.

The family are watching the coronation, with some thinly veiled threats from Mr Connolly towards his wife and Tommy (who has been goading him by suggesting relatives go upstairs to visit his gran), when The Doctor shows up. Mr Connolly tries to take control of the situation, but Tommy tells his father what a massive bellend fascist he’s being, as it was his father who informed on everyone in the street. Mrs Connolly also tells him to sod off, before going back to watch the coronation. Tommy goes with The Doctor and DI Bishop, heading to Magpie Electricals, where they discover the electrical thing Magpie made. When the sonic screwdriver is activated, it turns all the TVs on, and we see that everyone whose face has been sucked off is stuck inside one of them. So, Rose is alive! Woo! When Magpie appears, The Doctor gets all shouty again, but The Wire makes herself known, turning into a colour image and declaring that by feasting on everyone she will gain a corporeal body, which her own kind denied her. Turns out they executed her, but she fled in this form across the stars. The portable television that Magpie built is designed to transport her to a bigger transmitter, as she can’t do it all without. She starts to feed off them, but The Doctor stops it with the threat of the sonic screwdriver. Whilst The Doctor recovers on the floor, The Wire transmits to the portable TV and gets Magpie to drive her to a much bigger transmitter.

The Doctor rouses Tommy (DI Bishop has lost his face), figuring out that The Wire is headed for Alexandra Palace, the biggest transmitter in the area. They bring a load of electronics with them, as we see Magpie head up the tower with the portable TV. Tommy looks after the electronics in a room whilst The Doctor heads up the transmitter after Magpie and The Wire carrying, well, a wire. Red lightning starts to crackle all around as Magpie connects the portable television, and 20 million people begin to have their faces sucked off. The Wire chats bollocks for a while, Magpie moans and then gets disintegrated by The Wire, and The Doctor eventually saves the day when Tommy replaces a faulty electrical thingy in the big electrical thingy box, and he’s able to do something electrical to stop it. I don’t know much about electrics and electricals, but it turned the receiver back into a transmitter and he trapped The Wire in a VHS.

Back with the police, Tommy is reunited with his gran and The Doctor with Rose. Mrs Connolly kicks out Mr Connolly, and everyone else celebrates with a street party. After a pep talk from Rose, Tommy heads off to try and turn his Dad into a decent chap, as she and the Doctor share a glass of orange.

Now, all we need is for The Doctor to get rid of his scary 50s haircut, and all will be right with the world

I’ve seen this episode feature quite low on Who-fans lists before, and I think that’s a little unfair. It’s not a spectacular episode by any means, and it certainly isn’t going to make it onto any ‘best of’ lists, but it’s not a bad episode at all. Perhaps that’s the problem then; there’s just nothing that makes it stand out as being particularly brilliant. Certainly, if you asked me to name all the episodes of Series 2, this is one of the ones I’d be likely to forget.

It’s full of strong performances, as ever. Billie Piper in particular is fantastic when she puts on her commanding voice to school Mr Connolly about being British. I’ve got to say, Mr Connolly is a massive dick, but there isn’t a single role that the actor, Jamie Foreman,  plays where he doesn’t make it better because he’s so accomplished a playing a massive dick. Boy, do I hate his character in basically every role. He also does bully-turned-simpering-idiot very well, too.

Debra Gillett as Rita Connolly is perfect. The show could have run away with her finally getting rid of Mr Connolly, changing her instantly from a meek and mild mannered lady to a ferocious woman-scorned with a temper to put her husband in the dark, as is what usually happens in these circumstances; instead, she quietly tells him to get out, and calmly tells everyone it’s a new beginning (along those lines). It’s a wonderful change, and brilliantly played. You fully believe that she’s just so relieved and happy her tyrant husband is gone, and she’s looking forward to the future now. Rory Jennings as Tommy Connolly is also very good, convincing as the child who just wants to help solve the situation and find out what’s happening to his gran, whilst living under the harsh rule of his father.

Speaking of women in these times - yes, these jokes have been done to death in every form by now, but watching The Doctor force the bullying Mr Connolly to do ‘a woman’s job’ is still funny (‘Does the Queen do the housework?’). Especially so when Rose corrects him on his Union Jack vs Union Flag error. Which, of course, I wouldn’t have made.

The Doctor’s temper comes out in full force when Mr Connolly tries to take back control of his house. As a complete aside, I laughed with the way he said ‘I’m not listening-AH!, as it reminded me of Metallica’s James Hetfield, or WWE’s HHH. He’s quite angry throughout, really, especially when Rose loses her face.

The Wire is a creepy baddie, but Christ do I find her ‘hungry’ and ‘feed me’ cries annoying! Almost-enough-to-knock-a-ratings-point-off annoying. MEGA-annoying. Fantastic actress and performance all round though. Reminds me exactly of the type of presenter I’ve seen in classic BBC shows.

I laughed like a drain at ‘Operation Market Stall’ being nothing more than putting out a market stall. Brilliant!

If there’s one other thing, besides the ‘feed me’ annoyance, that I didn’t like about the episode, it’s David Tennant’s hairstyle. Christ, there’s some volume in there! I just think it looks terrible, and thank the gods it seems to have gone back to normal in next week’s episode. I was distracted by it all the way through!

Torchwood Mentions

Mentioned by a police officer

Overall

Nothing spectacular, but nothing too shabby either. Just a fairly run-of-the-mill episode at the end of the day.

7/10